Review of Locusts: The 8th Plague

Locusts: The 8th Plague is really, really bad. Now, many of these CGI-laden creature/disaster films have a goofy charm and are endearingly awful, but Locusts: The 8th Plague is simply spirit-sappingly dreadful. The plot is formulaic and there is no energy in any of the performances (but given the script, I can't say that I could find the strength or will to pull out top-drawer thesping, so they all have my sympathies and I give them the courtesy of remaining unnamed within this missive). Of course, one does not watch a film like Locusts: The 8th Plague for the actors, but the dread and thrilling insect threat, and so, do the winged fiends deliver? No, they do not. For the most part, the locusts are just indistinct shapes flitting across the screen, or rubbery insect carcasses lying about (or splattered ones on various windshields). Furthermore, the swarm is not that immense, yet the winged critters still have the power to send their victims flying in the air when only a handful crash into them. In this regard, they seem to be jet-propelled. Now, this could be a further element of their DNA tinkering, but that is probably giving the film a degree of inventiveness that it does not possess. In terms of action, when the team seek and (easily) find the elusive locust nest, the fact that they have brought guns and not enough flamethrowers makes one doubt their professional qualifications. For instance, the lead character, Vicky, bravely goes into the locusts' lair armed with only a pistol. Now, I'm no locust-busting expert, but I strongly suspect that a handgun is not going to be very effective against a horde of flesh-eating locust (loci?), and you would think that one of the intrepid crew would point this out. As for set-pieces, well, there is a fairground attack, but it raises more laughs than terror. However, there is Catatonic Boy, and Catatonic Boy will stir your emotions (it might only (probably) be your mirth centre, though), and one must not forget the Old Testament proselytising Preacher, whose biblical warnings of apocalyptic doom still continue as he becomes a locust banquet. Now that's dedication to the Lord! In terms of visuals, the CGI is really poor (the titular locusts, and especially the laughable helicopters in flight), and our hero, Colt, is not the most commanding figure that I have ever seen in such movies (where is Doug McClure when you need him?). Finally, the solution to the aerial menace is something that the nefarious creators of the mutated schistocerca gregaria could have figured out and executed themselves, and thus saved a lot of shredding time (and, of course, the numerous bodies feasted upon by the voracious and gregarious short-horned grasshoppers). So, while some bad movies deliver a myriad of pleasures, this one is just a pest.