Game of Thrones: The Spoils of War (2017)
Season 7, Episode 4
6/10
A 15-minute battle scene padded out to make an episode.
28 April 2018
Warning: Spoilers
I will not point out the numerous plot holes as other reviewers have done that well enough. What I will say is that the first three quarters of the episode were as dull as any I have seen. The writers seemed to acknowledge this fact by randomly pitting Arya against Brienne in an unnecessary sparring session to artificially add some interest. The Stark reunion was cliched and cheesy, and devoid of any memorable lines; what a waste.

The verbal arm wrestle between Jon and Daenerys did add a degree of curiosity, although I couldn't help but wonder where the real Daenerys was - you know, the one that extolled the virtues of freedom and would have no-one serve her against their will - as she insisted yet again that Jon bend the knee before she would consent to help him save humanity from the hands of the walking dead and their masters. Still, it did make for a nice parallel between Jon and Mance Rayder, who also refused to swallow his pride as leader of his people.

The real action started too late in this episode for me. I remember continually apologising to my father, who I had convinced to watch "one of the best episodes" and telling him repeatedly, "Something has to happen soon." It seems many IMDB reviewers don't care about depth of writing or the completeness of an episode as long as they get their sugar hit in the end.

The strength of Game of Thrones has always been that it refuses to follow the standard Hollywood script, but in the final moment of this episode, Weiss and Benioff reminded us once more how they have forgotten this, with Jaime, who is suddenly a proficient swordsman again, rescued in the nick of time.

Overall, an okay installment, but 9.8 out of 10? My left foot (or hand)!

Where are you Mr Martin? Game of Thrones needs you!
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