5/10
Notable only for Ellen Chan, and the penis head
24 June 2018
If it's known for anything at all, "The Eternal Evil of Asia" would be recognized for that one scene where a man's head turns into the head of a penis. This effect is actually distressingly lifelike; the special effects people really went to town on making it look real, or as real as such a bizarre effect could look, anyway.

Aside from that the movie has little going for it. It has the typical Category III foible - in fact it might be a common problem with Hong Kong movies in general - the plot is really quite simple, but is told in a confusing way.

Here's the gist of it: the movie is basically about curses placed on some Kongkongese types by magicians in Thailand. To the Asians, Thailand seems to be what Transylvania is to the Europeans; ie. a land of supernatural and mystique. The movie begins with a largely unrelated sequence where a crabby father is killed by a curse put on him by his little son. The movie then jumps to the real protagonists: the stunningly beautiful Ellen Chan and her boyfriend, who are trying to consummate their relationship, but can't, as the man seems to be blocked by, I don't know... a curse?

Ellen thinks her beau cheated on her when he went to Thailand with his buddies, but he swears up and down that that ain't so... the movie makes us wait until almost an hour into its runtime before showing us, confusingly, what really happened: the guy's buddies pretended to be him so that they could get a young girl into bed for a sex session - the movie's only proper sex scene - and she put a curse on him as revenge. Luckily, the Ellen Chan character knows a 'good witch' who works with her at a hair salon. Seriously. So the stage is set for a showdown between the good witch and the bad magician, which, like the rest of the movie, turns out to not make a whole lot of visual sense.

There is a scene at the end of the movie where Ellen Chan and her cursed partner try to have sex without touching each other. Quite a bit of thrusting and some tantalising peeks at Chan's breasts ensue. There is also a scene where a guy gets hungry, and starts chewing someone's fingers. The movie cuts away, and then cuts back, and shows that he has skeletonised the person's whole arm. This is really the only violent scene in the whole movie.

"The Eternal Evil of Asia" is a surprisingly tame affair for a Category III flick, but it is plenty crazy, so if that's what you're after... watch out for the penis head.
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