. . . "Popeye" literally owes his life to the Goons. Dropped as the perennial "Ugliest Toddler" contest winner onto Goon Island by a grossed-out pelican, Popeye thus becomes first a prince, then king in the Land of the Beauty-Blind. Soon fluent in Goon, Popeye is transformed by the Goonish all-spinach diet from a 125-ounce weakling into a 125-pound weakling (unless, that is, he's had a recent spinach "fix"). These cultured goons also provide Popeye with his theme song, not to mention a musical pipe. Returning to Civilization, Popeye soon begins punching out stupid people. Miss the answer on a math problem? KA-POW! Forget the name of our 13th President? WHAM-O!! Fail to correctly spell phlegm? KEY-RACK!!! In the days prior to the advent of the for-profit profiteering Charter Learning Shacks of U.S. Miseducation Secretary B. "Amway Calling" D. (which have proliferated like so many acne scars across the face of our once fair land), the Goon Island Academy must have seemed like a Pachyderm Party Model School.
Review of Popeye the Ugly Ducklin
