Review of Alpha

Alpha (II) (2018)
1/10
... and they wore underwear... aka dancing with dogs
1 September 2018
Warning: Spoilers
As an archaeologist myself I wouldn't even have minded some creative fantasy, if the story had been good. It was, however, lousy, predictable and unbelievable. The only plot twist is when - after having spent long winter nights together with his newfound canine mate, the wolf he has slept with turns out to be a female and pregnant with puppies. O, wow, what a touching endshot. Not. Okay, now for a sampling of the archaeological flaws. 1) Race. Usually I don't care one iota about race in a film. I don't care if blacks play whites, vice versa, whatever. Here, however, it was a missed educational chance. Believe it or not (it's true) the Ice Age European inhabitants were black, not white. And certainly not some cheap imitation of Native American. 2) Tubercolosis. The hero develops TBC. Aaww, sad. But, wait, there was no TBC back then. TBC jumped from cows to humans in one of the first cow keeping cultures - many thousands of years later. Can you say anachronism? Or, research? 3) Ancestors. Ehrm, no. The importance of animal spirits is most likely to have been replaced by the importance of ancestors at the start of the Neolithic, when people lived in the same place their grandfathers had lived and monuments were visible to remember them by. 4) The taming of the wolf didn't happen in Europe, it happened in China. Ehrm, Hollywood, what about your opening up to the Chinese market as in The Meg? Missed opportunity? Besides, it happened several thousand years earlier than supposed in the film. Important. Different climate. Different environment. 5) The taming of the wolf most probably happened by women keeping on stray cubs after the adult wolves had been killed off, because the former were cute. No need for a totally unbelievable act of heroism. Just females nursing puppies. Black females in China nursing puppies. Don't tell me they couldn't have made an interesting story out of that. 6) Trousers were invented when horses were first ridden - many, many thousands of years later. It would more likely have been wide leathers and bear fat on skin. O, and don't forget that wonderfully knitted scarf - so necessary in a cold winter. Thanks mum.

Okay. sorry for the archeological bashing, but the film deserves it. It has no redeeming story qualities. Dancing with dogs.
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