6/10
Perhaps not for the kids, but for the teens smoking in their rooms...
29 November 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Christmas Ever. Deep in the woods. A campsite. That's where you'll find an ugly sweater party. Cliff and Jody were lured here by two sexy twins -- fraternal twins, but twins nonetheless. However, they soon discovered that those twins have found God and that this is a Bible Camp. Potentially more troublesome is the fact that Cliff has found the possessed holiday sweater of seasonal serial killer Declan Rains.

Sean Whalen (The People Under the Stairs) plays Rains, who now commands Cliff to do his bidding. That's because on the way to the party, he beat up the now homeless Detective Brolin, who had killed Declan years ago.

Meanwhile, his best friend Jody (Hunter Johnson, who loves Sleepaway Camp 2 so much that he has a tattoo on his foot that reads "Oh, I'm a happy camper!") is trying to score with either of the twins Susan and Samantha -- or even their mother Mrs. Mandix, the co-owner of the camp (who is played by Felissa Rose, Angela from Sleepaway Camp).

Everyone in the camp is either a promiscuous person who is trying to give up giving it up or a closeted person who is trying to pray the gay away, just like the other co-owner, Counselor Mandix.

Then there's Hanna (Lara Jean, 2 Jennifer, Lilith), whose parents put her in the camp because they think that she's a witch. Well -- they're kinda right. She keeps getting visions of the hell that is coming on Christmas Eve. There's also a metal band that has possessed the camp's groundskeeper and a muscular wife murderer, who Counselor Mandix is very concerned about.

I've seen a lot of gore in my days, but this is the first one I've seen where a man rips another's genitals off, then drops to his knees and drinks the blood that is spraying out of his crotch. That's saying something.

There's also a nun named Sister Nipps, so if you're expecting refined humor, you may wish to look elsewhere. This has the look of early Raimi with the sensibilities of Troma, but I liked it way better than most of their efforts. Also, if you like old Slayer, you're going to enjoy the soundtrack.

This is director/writer/editor/producer Aaron Mento and he's succeeded in delivering something strange on a budget. I really liked the way his rapid editing and sound design keeps this from looking, feeling or sounding like the expected. I mean, how many movies have you seen that are all about a cursed Christmas sweater? Also: if you are looking for a movie that is generous with its dong shots as it is female nudity, Ugly Sweater Party has you covered.

Between laser beams and a bad guy named Sweaterface -- love that he has tendrils of fabric that come out of his back -- that forces everyone in the camp to accept Satan, there's plenty to experience here. Trust me, this isn't for everybody.
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