Gymkata. That perennial mainstay of late night TV where I first caught it at a young age. The tagline for this movie was, "the skill of gymnastics. The kill of karate." You seriously can't get more 80's than this movie.
The story itself is beyond silly and contrived. Gymnastics superstar Johnathan Cabot, played by real life Olympic medalist Kurt Thomas and his mullet, is tasked by the government to to be their emissary to Parmistan. Why send a gymnast for this? Well, there's more stupid to this. It's because Parmistan is the perfect place for a Star Wars defense grid but they don't like outsiders. The Parmistani people are a proud people and they only allow outsiders in to play, "The Game". The Game is a deadly obstacle course where people die, or are killed, in the process of trying to complete it. And the winner can ask anything of their leader the Khan and it must be given. Such are the rules. But no outsider has won the game for over 600 years.
To prepare for this they get a bunch of teachers who will train him to create a whole new type of martial art namely Gymkata. And it seems to be composed entirely of flips, Johnathan jumping at people and climbing the stairs using only his hands.
And of course there's a love interest. The very lovely and former Playboy model Tetchie Agbayani who plays the princess of the Parmistani people. She plays it cool, beats him up a few times and then finally falls for his charms. I guess mullets turn her on or something.
This movie is ridiculous in every sense of the word. From the premise, to the idea of Kurt being a bona fide action star, to the pieces of gymnastics equipment littering the streets of Parmistan. I'm not kidding. They're attacked by... some guys while out for a walk and Johnathan runs down this alley where there's a pole just hanging there between two buildings. It could be used to maybe dry clothes on but there's no windows there. It's just a pole. Johnathan jumps up, grabs it and starts spinning around. The baddies then just run into his feet like that. Or the pommel horse in the village of the crazies. And yes, that's a thing in this movie. He's surrounded by crazy folk, gets on the pommel horse and starts spinning around while kicking everybody's butt when they conveniently run into his feet. These people are surrounding him and have pitchforks and long pointy objects. Yet none of them try to stab him in the back. These are the most polite homicidal crazy people ever. They'll never stab anybody in the back.
And in the end this is a gloriously wonderful example of 80's cheese. It's entertaining in a "so bad it's good" kind of way and for lovers of bad cinema it's a must see.
The story itself is beyond silly and contrived. Gymnastics superstar Johnathan Cabot, played by real life Olympic medalist Kurt Thomas and his mullet, is tasked by the government to to be their emissary to Parmistan. Why send a gymnast for this? Well, there's more stupid to this. It's because Parmistan is the perfect place for a Star Wars defense grid but they don't like outsiders. The Parmistani people are a proud people and they only allow outsiders in to play, "The Game". The Game is a deadly obstacle course where people die, or are killed, in the process of trying to complete it. And the winner can ask anything of their leader the Khan and it must be given. Such are the rules. But no outsider has won the game for over 600 years.
To prepare for this they get a bunch of teachers who will train him to create a whole new type of martial art namely Gymkata. And it seems to be composed entirely of flips, Johnathan jumping at people and climbing the stairs using only his hands.
And of course there's a love interest. The very lovely and former Playboy model Tetchie Agbayani who plays the princess of the Parmistani people. She plays it cool, beats him up a few times and then finally falls for his charms. I guess mullets turn her on or something.
This movie is ridiculous in every sense of the word. From the premise, to the idea of Kurt being a bona fide action star, to the pieces of gymnastics equipment littering the streets of Parmistan. I'm not kidding. They're attacked by... some guys while out for a walk and Johnathan runs down this alley where there's a pole just hanging there between two buildings. It could be used to maybe dry clothes on but there's no windows there. It's just a pole. Johnathan jumps up, grabs it and starts spinning around. The baddies then just run into his feet like that. Or the pommel horse in the village of the crazies. And yes, that's a thing in this movie. He's surrounded by crazy folk, gets on the pommel horse and starts spinning around while kicking everybody's butt when they conveniently run into his feet. These people are surrounding him and have pitchforks and long pointy objects. Yet none of them try to stab him in the back. These are the most polite homicidal crazy people ever. They'll never stab anybody in the back.
And in the end this is a gloriously wonderful example of 80's cheese. It's entertaining in a "so bad it's good" kind of way and for lovers of bad cinema it's a must see.