Xena: Warrior Princess: Cradle of Hope (1995)
Season 1, Episode 4
7/10
The Battling Bard - A Biblical Greek Mash Up
30 March 2019
Warning: Spoilers
This storyline is set in motion by an octogenarian trouble maker who stirs the pot by prophosising that a newly born child will succeed the throne from King Gregor.

King Gregor, whose serious countenance is at odds with his amusing mullet, is a widower whose wife died during childbirth. Whispering in his ear is the nefarious advisor Nemos who convinces Gregor he needs to 'King Herod' the baby to stop the prediction coming true. This babies mother also died in child birth which makes you wonder whether King Gregor really should really be investing in better maternity provision. One of the servant girls catches wind of what's going to happen, bundles the infant up and floats him down the river Moses style. Please don't try this at home.

The baby is discovered by Xena and Gabrielle. The latter is pleased at the discovery, the former not so much and they vow to try and find the child's mother. On the way they break up the impromptu hanging of Pandora, a woman who not only possesses a box that contains the hope of all mankind but also the whitest, nicest teeth in all of Greece.

They find an Inn but are very quickly ratted out by the innkeeper who informs the local militia that they've turned up with a baby. Nemos arrives with troops, Xena, who is without weapons, improvises by igniting the fluid from her cup with a torch (what the hell was she drinking?) and sprays it over her enemies. In the chaos that follows Nemos escapes with the box. This is a problem because the box is attached to an egg timer that needs to be reset by Pandora every few hours.

They arrange a sit down with the King and Nemos to discuss a box / baby exchange. Gregor arrives dressed for a nativity play. Xena gets a measure of the man and decides Gregor is misguided but not a bad person. No trade is made.

The plan is to break into the castle and snatch the box back. Xena tries to achieve this by dressing up as an exotic dancer and gyrating her way to the box. She doesn't initially succeed because the King comes in, puts a downer on the party atmosphere and takes his box back. After making short work of Nemos in his four poster bed Xena sneaks into the Kings bedroom and then bungee jumps out the window with the box.

A chase and courtyard battle ensue with great action and plenty of baby tossing. Xena takes the baby and places it in the crib of the King's bedroom. Xena tells Gregor that if he accepts the baby as his heir then the prophecy can come true without Gregor being opposed. Everything is tied up nicely. Nemos is dead, the baby becomes his son, the King falls for Pandora and vows to protect her box.

The episode finishes with Xena and Gabby realising that the box is empty! Oh the irony. They decide its best not to let anyone know.

This is a solid episode but lacked the trade mark humour present in other light touch Xena episodes. The action sequences are good but there was just a little something missing from the script.

Pinch count: 1

Memorable scene: The baby tossing fight scene and Gabbys face when she thinks Xena isn't going to catch him in time.

Quote: Nemos - "You spoke of pleasure?" (Xena back smacks him in the face) Xena - "And you spoke of pain...."
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