Review of The Bells

Game of Thrones: The Bells (2019)
Season 8, Episode 5
1/10
It's the best episode this season, but that's only 7/10 by Game of Thrones S1-4 standards.
15 May 2019
Warning: Spoilers
It's the best episode this season, but that's only 7/10 by Game of Thrones S1-4 standards.

D&D = Dumb and Dumber (the writers).

Let's look at the good -

1. The Tyrion-Jaime scene was top notch and exactly the way it needed to be. Sadly, Dumb and Dumber wrecked all the other heartfelt moments this and last season. I guess we gotta be thankful they've now managed to write ONE great scene.

2. The battle for King's Landing was superb and visually what we all expected. The 'no mercy' strategy was gripping throughout.

Now, the bad:

1. Once again, certain characters survive certain death for no other reason than D&D are stupid. Jaime, Euron, Arya, Greyworm, etc all have plot armour yet again when it suits. What is it that Dumb and Dumber don't understand about human anatomy? Arya was stabbed in the stomach multiple times in season 6 in one of the lowest and most stupid moments in GoT, and now we have the same for Euron and Jaime. Jaime actually then travels on forever afterwards as if it were just a minor flesh wound he'd received. It's so, so disappointing to see such poor writing in this show. D&D are HACKS. Arya has buildings caving in on top of her as she runs around King's Landing with dragon fire raining down and unsullied slaughtering everyone in sight. She'd be dead multiple times.

2. The Mountain is undead. When did this happen??? We've not been told he's immortal until now. It was laughable. The whole thing looked like a cheap zombie B movie.

3. Dany's descent into madness wasn't a descent (like it will be in the books, should it occur); instead, it's been the most unrealistic character change in TV history. In just a few episodes, she's gone from wanting to take King's landing with minimal losses to actively hunting down innocent people and frying them alive - when she's clearly won the war already. Even when she was contemplating burning King's Landing to a crisp in previous episodes, she was never capable of hunting down women and children in the streets like a bad Hollywood villain. They've ruined her character by rushing and forcing the story - Magic wand, lazy writing.

4. Varys' death was silly. He deserved better than to be found out for some futile last minute plot. Burning him alive with Drogon... was that even necessary? Hasn't Dany heard of a sword?

5. Dumb and Dumber seem to think Cersei is a tragic character who deserves our sympathy. No. She's a horrible monster who has caused untold suffering and death - all for her own petty wants and schemes. It's insulting they gave her such an easy death, and one that actually tries to be nice to her! It was also totally unsatisfying to see her killed by a bunch of rocks in a cliche 'hold me close as we die together' scene.

Look, Dumb and Dumber: we all know that you love the actress who plays Cersei, but she's an ACTRESS. You're writing a CHARACTER for a fictional show, you blithering idiots.

6. Dany threatening Tyrion with death is also out of character, as is Jaime still giving a damn about Cersei.

7. Tyrion arranging for Cersei to escape is LAUGHABLE. There is no way on earth he'd do that. He'd arrange for Jaime to escape (maybe - and even then how would Jaime get away unseen??) - NOT his crazy, demented sister. It's almost as if Dumb and Dumber have forgotten everything Cersei has done to Tyrion and to everyone else.

8. Euron's death is so bad it's hilarious. "I'm the one who killed Jaime Lannister..." LOL WHO THE HELL CARES? And why did he want to in the first place? The scene is also extremely badly acted and will likely be ridiculed in 1000 memes. Oh, and did I mention that he survived a direct hit from Drogon's fire and then swam ashore to meet Jaime by complete coincidence on the beach?

In conclusion: This episode has a few moments where you can remember how good Game of Thrones used to be - and lots of moments where you are reminded that those two fools - Dumb and Dumber - are now completely in charge.

Unfortunately, this episode also can't erase the destruction those two idiots have wrought on this show. Watching Drogon roast and toast reminded me of what they've have done to GRRM's epic fantasy. The best this season isn't saying a lot.
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