The movie opens with a typically awful, generic pop-metal type band in the studio. They finish their session and one of the band members rudely dismisses a young woman in favour of some other girl he plans to meet. You almost don't blame him, though: judging by her hair and attire, I thought she was a boy at first.
Predictably, one of the band guys gets his throat slit in a pretty lame scene, while another girl, whose lack of nudity is a waste, gets hung up on the wall like a side of beef. Less predictably, the boyish girl gets naked in a hot tub while the murders happen.
Slashers always begin with murders, and obviously this one is no exception. But the movie then reveals the killer's identity to be that of the a-hole musician from before. The girl he rebuffed comes onto him, realises what he's done, and is then menaced by him with a knife, slicing at her clothes. He is apparently just as interested in her sexually as he is in the colour of her blood.
They are surprised by a policeman, or a night watchman, or some such person - why would they be in a recording studio? - they don't have a gun, so the killer chases them out of the room, laughing.
Cue opening credit sequence.
As far as first scenes in slasher movies go, this one was pretty lame, though at least it was stupid in a funny way. And it had nudity.
We then see a man on a small stage wearing a monster mask doing mime and breakdancing, while the host does a little cocaine out in the open, and introduces a party that's going to happen at the venue - which will be named Rocktober Blood.
What's the bet the cokehead gets sliced and diced? No one does drugs and survives a horror movie.
He does an interview with a young lady - possibly the mannish one from before, now looking more feminine - and name drops "Billy Eye", apparently the killer from the opening scene, who is described as having killed twenty five fellow band members and been executed following the mannish girl's "fingering" of him. Funny we only saw him kill two people. Twenty-five? How big was this guy's band, anyway?
The cokehead's name is "Rick Righteous", and he works for "MVTV", a analogue of MTV so closely named I thought he actually said "MTV" the first time.
The man-girl wanders off and is frightened by a man in a mask. He takes his mask off and reveals that yes, he is the killer from before, who had supposedly been executed. The girl tells another guy who looks like a cross between Fabio and Taylor Negron about this, but he doesn't believe her.
I was starting to think that the whole movie would be set in the venue the Rocktober Blood thing is happening in, which apparently has the requisite isolated corridors for the slasher to do his thing, but the movie cuts to the next day, with the mannish girl in the great outdoors. I'm going to start calling her the protagonist now, because that's apparently what she is.
SHe is menaced by a voice telling her "he's coming to get you" and runs away, into the woods, coming across two aerobics girls who are exercising to the same awful pop-metal the movie has made us listen to twice already.
The protagonist is in gym clothes too - though she didn't seem to be before - and knows the other aerobics girls. She tells them she saw Billy Eye, but of course they don't believe her.
The protag and her aerobics-oriented buddies live in a house on the lake. The killer is shown, from the knees down, walking around the property. One of the friends gets killed when she is pulled into a hottub.
The protagonist disrobes again, showing us breasts and butt.
The killer finally makes an appearance, without a mask, but wearing distinctive, harlequin-like makeup. A lengthy and tedious scene of cat-and-mouse ensues as he chases one of the girls around.
We go back to the venue from before, where the protagonist is setting up for what I assume is going to be a performance by an awful generic '80s pop metal band... and I have the horrible feeling the movie might make us sit through it.
The Taylor Negron/Fabio guy has an English accent. The protagonist fails to convince him that Billy Eye has risen from the grave. She goes to the cemetery where he's buried: "There's nobody in that grave. He's gotten away somehow."
They dig him up and find a skeleton. His eyes are still apparently intact, though.
Phew! So now she can relax and get back to the coming party. You'd think the sight of decomposing skeleton would actually disturb her even worse, but nevermind.
But of course we know he's not really dead and buried, as the movie reminds us with the lamest kill scene yet: Billy Eye attacks a woman while she's doing her ironing, pressing the iron to her throat, which makes blood flow as though it's sharp, or something?
The movie attempts a truly lame revelation about the identity of the killer, which at least explains why there's a skeleton in the coffin. It totally comes out of nowhere with no foreshadowing at all, so it's not accurate to call it a "twist".
He's waiting for "Rocktober Blood" as well.
Finally that starts, and you know what? The music isn't as bad as I expected. Neither is the climactic concert scene, which features a pretty decent looking decapitation scene on stage, under the cover of shock rock.
The ending comes out of nowhere and doesn't really end anything. It's just over, you find yourself watching the credits roll. Whatever. I thought the climactic scene kind of redeemed what was an unspeakably lame lead-up.
Predictably, one of the band guys gets his throat slit in a pretty lame scene, while another girl, whose lack of nudity is a waste, gets hung up on the wall like a side of beef. Less predictably, the boyish girl gets naked in a hot tub while the murders happen.
Slashers always begin with murders, and obviously this one is no exception. But the movie then reveals the killer's identity to be that of the a-hole musician from before. The girl he rebuffed comes onto him, realises what he's done, and is then menaced by him with a knife, slicing at her clothes. He is apparently just as interested in her sexually as he is in the colour of her blood.
They are surprised by a policeman, or a night watchman, or some such person - why would they be in a recording studio? - they don't have a gun, so the killer chases them out of the room, laughing.
Cue opening credit sequence.
As far as first scenes in slasher movies go, this one was pretty lame, though at least it was stupid in a funny way. And it had nudity.
We then see a man on a small stage wearing a monster mask doing mime and breakdancing, while the host does a little cocaine out in the open, and introduces a party that's going to happen at the venue - which will be named Rocktober Blood.
What's the bet the cokehead gets sliced and diced? No one does drugs and survives a horror movie.
He does an interview with a young lady - possibly the mannish one from before, now looking more feminine - and name drops "Billy Eye", apparently the killer from the opening scene, who is described as having killed twenty five fellow band members and been executed following the mannish girl's "fingering" of him. Funny we only saw him kill two people. Twenty-five? How big was this guy's band, anyway?
The cokehead's name is "Rick Righteous", and he works for "MVTV", a analogue of MTV so closely named I thought he actually said "MTV" the first time.
The man-girl wanders off and is frightened by a man in a mask. He takes his mask off and reveals that yes, he is the killer from before, who had supposedly been executed. The girl tells another guy who looks like a cross between Fabio and Taylor Negron about this, but he doesn't believe her.
I was starting to think that the whole movie would be set in the venue the Rocktober Blood thing is happening in, which apparently has the requisite isolated corridors for the slasher to do his thing, but the movie cuts to the next day, with the mannish girl in the great outdoors. I'm going to start calling her the protagonist now, because that's apparently what she is.
SHe is menaced by a voice telling her "he's coming to get you" and runs away, into the woods, coming across two aerobics girls who are exercising to the same awful pop-metal the movie has made us listen to twice already.
The protagonist is in gym clothes too - though she didn't seem to be before - and knows the other aerobics girls. She tells them she saw Billy Eye, but of course they don't believe her.
The protag and her aerobics-oriented buddies live in a house on the lake. The killer is shown, from the knees down, walking around the property. One of the friends gets killed when she is pulled into a hottub.
The protagonist disrobes again, showing us breasts and butt.
The killer finally makes an appearance, without a mask, but wearing distinctive, harlequin-like makeup. A lengthy and tedious scene of cat-and-mouse ensues as he chases one of the girls around.
We go back to the venue from before, where the protagonist is setting up for what I assume is going to be a performance by an awful generic '80s pop metal band... and I have the horrible feeling the movie might make us sit through it.
The Taylor Negron/Fabio guy has an English accent. The protagonist fails to convince him that Billy Eye has risen from the grave. She goes to the cemetery where he's buried: "There's nobody in that grave. He's gotten away somehow."
They dig him up and find a skeleton. His eyes are still apparently intact, though.
Phew! So now she can relax and get back to the coming party. You'd think the sight of decomposing skeleton would actually disturb her even worse, but nevermind.
But of course we know he's not really dead and buried, as the movie reminds us with the lamest kill scene yet: Billy Eye attacks a woman while she's doing her ironing, pressing the iron to her throat, which makes blood flow as though it's sharp, or something?
The movie attempts a truly lame revelation about the identity of the killer, which at least explains why there's a skeleton in the coffin. It totally comes out of nowhere with no foreshadowing at all, so it's not accurate to call it a "twist".
He's waiting for "Rocktober Blood" as well.
Finally that starts, and you know what? The music isn't as bad as I expected. Neither is the climactic concert scene, which features a pretty decent looking decapitation scene on stage, under the cover of shock rock.
The ending comes out of nowhere and doesn't really end anything. It's just over, you find yourself watching the credits roll. Whatever. I thought the climactic scene kind of redeemed what was an unspeakably lame lead-up.