"The Bikini Carwash Company" is a pointless and tedious little b-flick designed to show unimpressive bare breasts and not much else. It doesn't even have enough plot or character to come up with an excuse to show these mammaries to the camera and as a result seems to grind painfully to a halt every few moments.
The plot: some random "geek" in a business suit annoys everybody on a beach in which all women apparently share the same plastic surgeon and all men have a line on steroids. A group of indistinguishable bimbos are struggling with their carwash business when they meet the geek and the "leader" of the group, or at least the only one with lines, decides that they can exploit the geek to save their business, though I never understood why or how.
We then get a bunch of footage of women in bikinis posing around cars and taking their bikini tops off, showing their typically '90s threatening mammary glands, which thrust unnaturally toward the camera like loaded weapons.
There's also a "flasher" running around with a stocking on his head, opening his trench coat to reveal the fact that he is clearly not naked underneath, and the filmmaker wasn't talented enough to hide that. Um, maybe angle the camera up a little bit so we can see he isn't wearing shorts? What is this, brain surgery?
Most of the women aren't even that attractive when you see their faces, which admittedly, you don't all that often. The movie is too busy showing you their ballistics.
I will say one thing about it, though: the movie's few sex scenes are done tastefully. One toward the end of the movie is even fairly erotic. Oh, and legendary b-movie filmmaker, Jim Wynorski, has a cameo, but the movie doesn't give him anything to do.
The plot: some random "geek" in a business suit annoys everybody on a beach in which all women apparently share the same plastic surgeon and all men have a line on steroids. A group of indistinguishable bimbos are struggling with their carwash business when they meet the geek and the "leader" of the group, or at least the only one with lines, decides that they can exploit the geek to save their business, though I never understood why or how.
We then get a bunch of footage of women in bikinis posing around cars and taking their bikini tops off, showing their typically '90s threatening mammary glands, which thrust unnaturally toward the camera like loaded weapons.
There's also a "flasher" running around with a stocking on his head, opening his trench coat to reveal the fact that he is clearly not naked underneath, and the filmmaker wasn't talented enough to hide that. Um, maybe angle the camera up a little bit so we can see he isn't wearing shorts? What is this, brain surgery?
Most of the women aren't even that attractive when you see their faces, which admittedly, you don't all that often. The movie is too busy showing you their ballistics.
I will say one thing about it, though: the movie's few sex scenes are done tastefully. One toward the end of the movie is even fairly erotic. Oh, and legendary b-movie filmmaker, Jim Wynorski, has a cameo, but the movie doesn't give him anything to do.