Review of Happy Birthdaze

. . . firearm, HAPPY BIRTHDAZE instructs impressionable viewers. "Popeye" starts out as his usual, affable self as HAPPY BIRTHDAZE begins. But America's original sailor super hero is soon reduced to a woebegone figure, looking up at the world through a storm drain gutter grate. Who is at the root of all the grief befalling the esteemed tar--on his birthday, of all dates!--reducing him to a sad sack Pennywise? As "Randy N." sang in 1977, it's someone with no reason to live. Randy's musical description of Popeye's nemesis proves spot on throughout HAPPY BIRTHDAZE. Serial screw-up "Shorty" DOES sport the classic "little nose and tiny little feet." He DOES stand so low that his foil Popeye needs to pick him up just to say hello, and his little voice might as well be saying "peep, peep, peep" for all the sense he makes. When pressed to his limit by the miscreant Shorty, Popeye FINALLY decides to echo Randy's conclusion: "Well, I don't want no short people around here." Popeye solves his Shorty problem by blowing him away with one well-placed shot. So enjoy HAPPY BIRTHDAZE, and remember to support your local chapter of BANGS (Broke Americans Need Gun Stamps)!