10/10
Should be among greats like "The Room"
9 March 2020
This movie is a masterwork of nonsense. It is the funniest movie I've seen in years. Of course, none of the humor is intentional, but that's why it's so great.

As for genuine positives, some of the shots looked kind of cool. One of the actors, the one who plays Orpheus' dad, isn't too bad. That's it though, everything else is pretty bad.

The low quality of this film is what turns an otherwise bad movie into a magnum opus. The "skate-rock adventure" to end all skate-rock adventures.

The story? Oh, no, no, no. There is no story. They skateboarded on camera and added the film around it. What little plot there is, it's really corny. Basically, it's a retelling of the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, but instead of ancient Greece we get storage containers in Seattle. No spoilers on the particulars, because I think if you haven't seen it, you owe it to yourself.

The characters are laughable. There's a really offensive portrayal of a disabled veteran, three villains that look like Rocky Horror Picture Show was eaten by Son Of The Mask, a skater who has a weird whispery voice that isn't convincing, and an overacting producer character. Just to name a few.

The set design is nonexistent. It's bad skater gear and cheesy setpieces all the way, and I wouldn't change a thing.

The cinematography is the best aspect of the film, but it's still not very good. There are a few interesting shots, but there's no discernable personality to it. Also, the DVD copy is formatted so that the image is letterboxed on either side into a 4:3 aspect ratio. The film is closer to a 16:9 aspect ratio, so there are also bars on the top and bottom. The whole picture is slightly above the center, it looks bad.

This is why I'm officially asking whoever owns the rights to this film to please redistribute it on Digital and Blu-Ray. I know a remaster is probably asking too much, but the film must be seen. It needs the widespread love it deserves.

If I were rating it seriously as a film, I would give it a 2/10, but it's more than just a movie. It's an experience.
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