Bridal Boot Camp (2017 TV Movie)
2/10
Not even "Full Bridal Jacket" - this movie should come with novocaine
2 July 2020
The screenwriter was asleep at the wheel. This story went all over the place - suddenly sticking profound insights into people's mouths with no warning, painfully stupid dialogue, badly disguised flirting, no chemistry among any of the characters, bizarre plot twists that could break a viewer's neck.

I hated everything about the floral designer, Casey Connor - he constantly intruded on Andy's life to the point where I thought he was going to gas her and stick in the back of a van, he claimed to have feelings for Andy but I honestly could not tell if he really did or he just was using her for a good time, and I thought the actor was quite bad. I've never seen Sandvig in anything besides "Easy A," but here he had one facial expression, which he basically stole from Gene's parents in "The Emoji Movie."

None of the acting did much for me. The two lead actresses were sort of cute but I did not believe much of the drama from them. And the "drill sergeant" of the boot camp was, well, not all that intimidating! I'm not saying she should have been R. Lee Ermey, but she could have had more presence, to spoof the genre of "boot camps" a little more. I was hoping, from the title, that this would be a kind of "Full Bridal Jacket," but everything about the camp was understated and silly (not to mention, most of the exercises were stuff that the brides could easily have done on their own).

Andy's fiancé was barely developed at all. He hardly showed up in the entire movie! He just worked a lot - is working some kind of crime, incompatible with true love? I guess so! Screenwriter didn't care.

This movie was not funny, either intentionally or unintentionally. I didn't get any romantic feel from it, either - and I like "The Wedding Singer" and "The Princess Bride," just in case you were wondering. Andy is supposed to be a dressmaker, but we saw almost no scenes with her creating a dress. They could have tied that in with the story more. Not one character convinced me that she or he was the person that the movie told us she or he was. Like I said, the movie failed to spoof the "boot camp" aspect, and it had no other surprises in store for me. None.

I only gave this movie 2 stars rather than 1 because it didn't offend me. It couldn't even rise to that occasion. "Bridal Boot Camp" was awkward, unimaginative, forced, and in spite of what some of the characters later claimed, I don't think anyone learned anything from it. At least a real boot camp would have been rigorous and life-changing.
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