A sort of beach version of "Tremors". It starts off interestingly - and gets down to business fairly quickly: no dragging out. However, after the first 10 or so minutes the plot slows down drastically. Horror movies usually start slow, then speed up. We have the opposite here.
Then the nonsense starts too.
Easily the most idiotic moment is the surfboards scene; midway toward escape and freedom Jonah actually stops. To do what? To discuss relationship stuff with his ex and her new fling. Distracted by his own sudden amnesia (because he somehow forgot they were surrounded by a subterranean monster and that half his friends are dead), he makes an inexplicable ultra-klutzy move which has him falling down and getting infected. Duh. If the movie wanted to tell us it wants to be stupid, it succeeded.
Unfortunately, this absurd relationship drama occurs several more times. These clown amateur horror writers need to finally understand that while in survival mode nobody gives a sheet about relationships nor does anybody want to discuss anything that isn't directly related to survival: food, water, shelter, weapons and defense. Sex, petty jealousies and relationship drivel are relegated to the status of utter irrelevance. Bloody obvious.
The surfboard strategy should EASILY have evacuated all the "teens" from the danger zone. But hey: the writer needed to pad this out, so no go. They're still stuck.
Couldn't they just start running? An efficient sprint would have done the trick. The tentacles weren't instant, there was a brief delay which would have given even a jogger enough time to scamper away.
Then a cop comes - and suddenly it's a comedy. OK, not that suddenly: the fat black guy is sort of the resident comic relief character from the start. Nevertheless, the first half is not a comedy. The cop predictably gets killed, but not before performing a comedy routine. The "shoes are protecting him" shtick is far-fetched, considering that the tentacles are powerful enough to bring down a car. This is absurd.
I mean I know these are just Spring Break morons, but even this inferior species could have figured out that once in the cop car they could simply call HQ over the radio.
Speaking of which, why are there no cops searching for the missing dead cop? The vehicle is in plain sight, surely it should have been spotted. Dumb writing.
Even dumber is Blondie punching the black girl "for screwing with Jonah". Another slapstick moment at the most inopportune moment. Not funny, just dumb.
Aside from all the idiocy, essentially TS drags too much, that's the major flaw hampering it, completely killing the tension. TS is too static, too repetitive, hence gets rather tedious in the 2nd half. The other problem is the shoddy script with its lame dialogue and a schizophrenic genre mix-up that can't quite define itself: comedy or not? It should have been either an all-out goofy comedy or completely devoid of buffoonery. This "middle ground" approach is strictly amateur-hour level.
As it is, TS is a typical dilettante mess. A low budget is all well and fine (as an excuse) but you don't need money to write a decent or at least usable script.
Then the nonsense starts too.
Easily the most idiotic moment is the surfboards scene; midway toward escape and freedom Jonah actually stops. To do what? To discuss relationship stuff with his ex and her new fling. Distracted by his own sudden amnesia (because he somehow forgot they were surrounded by a subterranean monster and that half his friends are dead), he makes an inexplicable ultra-klutzy move which has him falling down and getting infected. Duh. If the movie wanted to tell us it wants to be stupid, it succeeded.
Unfortunately, this absurd relationship drama occurs several more times. These clown amateur horror writers need to finally understand that while in survival mode nobody gives a sheet about relationships nor does anybody want to discuss anything that isn't directly related to survival: food, water, shelter, weapons and defense. Sex, petty jealousies and relationship drivel are relegated to the status of utter irrelevance. Bloody obvious.
The surfboard strategy should EASILY have evacuated all the "teens" from the danger zone. But hey: the writer needed to pad this out, so no go. They're still stuck.
Couldn't they just start running? An efficient sprint would have done the trick. The tentacles weren't instant, there was a brief delay which would have given even a jogger enough time to scamper away.
Then a cop comes - and suddenly it's a comedy. OK, not that suddenly: the fat black guy is sort of the resident comic relief character from the start. Nevertheless, the first half is not a comedy. The cop predictably gets killed, but not before performing a comedy routine. The "shoes are protecting him" shtick is far-fetched, considering that the tentacles are powerful enough to bring down a car. This is absurd.
I mean I know these are just Spring Break morons, but even this inferior species could have figured out that once in the cop car they could simply call HQ over the radio.
Speaking of which, why are there no cops searching for the missing dead cop? The vehicle is in plain sight, surely it should have been spotted. Dumb writing.
Even dumber is Blondie punching the black girl "for screwing with Jonah". Another slapstick moment at the most inopportune moment. Not funny, just dumb.
Aside from all the idiocy, essentially TS drags too much, that's the major flaw hampering it, completely killing the tension. TS is too static, too repetitive, hence gets rather tedious in the 2nd half. The other problem is the shoddy script with its lame dialogue and a schizophrenic genre mix-up that can't quite define itself: comedy or not? It should have been either an all-out goofy comedy or completely devoid of buffoonery. This "middle ground" approach is strictly amateur-hour level.
As it is, TS is a typical dilettante mess. A low budget is all well and fine (as an excuse) but you don't need money to write a decent or at least usable script.