Review of W*A*L*T*E*R

W*A*L*T*E*R (1984 TV Movie)
5/10
Was there any imaginable reason not to call it R*A*D*A*R?
9 February 2021
Play the hits and give people what they know and love. And if you don't want to do that, then break ground and give people something sharp, novel and daring.

Radar was symbolic of the smash hit and television masterpiece, M*A*S*H. He was the only regular character played by the same actor in the series and in the feature film. He was the first person you saw in the opening credit sequence of every episode for the first seven years. And he didn't have the name Walter in the original novel, in the film or in the first three and arguably most popular seasons of the series. Radar was given a proper first name sometime in the show's fourth year and it was only used a handful of times. Five years after his departure from the series, when this pilot aired, people remembered Radar. They saw him on repeats and in the feature film that had just been released on home video. Why would they call the show Walter and expect the masses to make the association? Even if people remembered the character's first name, Walter could have been anyone. Even fifty years after the character was introduced to the public, the word radar automatically makes people think of Mash.

Three of the most seasoned and best TV sitcom writers worked on this pilot. Two of them had co-written most of the I Love Lucy shows, as well as the Lucy Desi Comedy Hour, the Lucy Show and numerous brilliant episodes of other programs like Maude and All in the Family. The third writer had been penning classic television comedy since the fifties and had written quite a few classic episodes of MASH. With all of this great talent, why couldn't they even come up with the right title?

Mash's Radar was a complex character who managed to be consistent through what might have seemed like more than a few contradictions. He quietly helped orchestrate many of Hawkeye and Trapper's devious maneuvers, he was seen in early episode sneaking Henry's liquor and cigars, he manipulated Henry into signing documents that he didn't know he was signing, he knew how to work the bureaucratic military systems well enough to usually get his unit whatever they needed and yet, at the same time, he was a farm bred innocent hero worshiping young virgin who slept with a teddy bear, was devoted to his animals, and was as dedicated a friend and companion as anyone could imagine. Oh yeah, and he could hear things before everyone else heard them and know what someone was going to say to him before the person said it. And though he was known to occasionally peak into the shower when the nurses were there, he wasn't partial to actually using the shower himself.

Little of that was in the character we saw in this pilot. An ordinary, mostly innocent though slightly jaded by the war, young farm boy becomes a small town cop in the fifties. Okay, what else? It almost felt like the Andy Griffith Show, only with its personality and heart removed. Lucy Ricardo, Archie Bunker, Hawkeye Pierce and Maude were naturally sharp, hilarious characters who couldn't miss. I guess the same writers couldn't breathe life into Walter because they forgot that people loved Radar and that Radar was a genuine mixed bag with many unique and interesting character traits. They probably also forgot that Radar was the sixth wheel on the TV show and probably the tenth wheel in the film. As endearing as he was to the audience, he really was never meant to be a leading man.

All that said, the dialogue is good and the pilot is watchable. Again, it was written by three of the best sitcom writers in the business at the time. However, it was flat and boring because the character and his situation were.
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