The Condemned (2007)
6/10
It's a very simple game, live or die.
22 March 2021
This 2007 film is written and directed by Scott Wiper. It is an action film which stars ex-WWE wrestler "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and British footballer turned actor Vinnie Jones. Produced by WWE Films, the film was distributed by Lionsgate. When it was released the film only spent a small amount of time in theaters and was quickly moved to DVD and Blu-Ray release, and that's how I caught this at the time. After a tidy-up recently I found the film (I can't remember buying it, but it might have been owned by one of my old housemates), so I decided to watch it again.

10 criminals from around the world who have been condemned to a death sentence are brought to a remote island. They are offered their freedom and a load of money, but they must fight to the death and be the last survivor. Strapped to every participants ankle is a bomb with a 30-hour countdown, so if they go rogue, or they fail to meet the rules in the 30-hour death match, they'll be killed - but that's okay, it's kill or be killed after all! The island and the exploits of the criminals are being filmed for an illegal internet game show, so the more extreme the better for the invisible masses watching. One of the contestants, Jack Conrad (Steve Austin), is not really who he is thought to be and probably should not be there. Conrad's real name is Jack Riley, and he was a covert undercover Delta Force operative working a Black ops mission in El Salvador when things went wrong, and he was captured. Once this is worked out by the FBI, they have a vested interest in him surviving. The biggest threat to Conrad's survival though is Ewan McStarley (Vinny Jones), who will do anything, including cheat, to become the victor. He always seems to be one step ahead, almost as if he is getting help from somebody. That 1 in 10 chance that everybody has will be hard fought for whoever manages to get the upper hand.

The first thing that I have to say is that this type of 'Deathmatch' and 'Battle Royal' film is not something new, I can easy think of over a handful of them without researching too much (including: "Deathsport" (1978), "The Running Man" (1987), "Surviving the Game" (1994), "Battle Royale" (2000), "The Hunt" (2000), "Azumi" (2003), "Kill Theory" (2009), "Tournament" (2009), "Gamer" (2009), "Predators" (2010), "The Hunger Games" (2012+), "The Belko Experiment" (2017), "Ready Or Not" (2019)) so, this not that original. Despite not being original, the film is still enjoyable and works as a decent action film. Back in 2007 when I first watched this, I expected to be bored to tears watching something I had seen plenty of times before, but I wasn't, I enjoyed it. Since watching this in 2007 I have watched it again, and I still can't hate it. It feels as though it has become cheesier with time, but I can forgive that because the film is a no brainer, popcorn ready, action film which is not too taxing.

Being a wrestling fan "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was one of the headline acts during WWE's attitude era. He was always destined to go onto more entertainment after his knees and neck finally gave way. He has not been as widely used or successful as The Rock, who was also big at the time, but he still works well in this film. Other wrestlers have made the transition well, including Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan, Dave Bautista, and the aforementioned Rock - on the flip-side, some wrestlers haven't been as successful on the big screen: Macho Man Randy Savage, Kevin Nash, The Miz, Randy Orton (I'll leave you to pick how you feel about John Cena, Rowdy Roddy Piper, and Jesse "The Body" Ventura). Austin was never overly muscular compared to some of the WWE's big stars so he fits well into an action film where he is portraying a special forces kind of guy. He doesn't need to be ripped with a 6-pack - he just needs to be a bad s.o.b. - which Austin always was anyway. Being gruff and gritty he will always look more comfortable in an action film than a romance film, and this venture is a good fit for him. Austin does well as the hero of the film. The writing made his plot motivation of getting back to his wife a little cliché, but he was still a decent and fun presence on screen.

Starring opposite Austin is the sometimes Welsh, but mostly English - ex-football (that's soccer to the septic's) player Vinnie Jones. By the time this film came about it looked like Vinnie's star had risen and was on the decline. He's had some good turns in "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels" (1998), "Gone in 60 Seconds" (2000), and "Snatch" (2000), but he'd also appeared in "Eurotrip" (2004), "She's the man" (2006), "Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties", and who can forget his 'incredible' performance as Juggernaut in "X-Men: The Last Stand" (2006). Hopefully that explains why I would have considered his best days behind him. In this film, Jones does well, and that surprised me. He's still the stereotypical kind of rogue British bad guy that he is in other films too, but it's OK. Here in fact, that injection of his usual personality makes the maniacal character that he plays stand out a lot more than Austin's character. He helps create a focal pantomime villain to "boo" and "hiss".

The look and feel of the film can be described as well polished, as you might expect when the WWE Films production company is behind it. Ross Emery in the cinematography seat does well to make the remote location look both isolated, but an attractive location. The music in the film is largely made up of modern rock and pop acts and artists which works for the film and made it feel on the pulse in 2007. Re-watching it some 14 years later the music does not make the film feel dated, which is a nice achievement.

This film might have bombed at the box office, it might not be original, it might be clichéd and formulaic in places. Despite everything it is and the criticism it is hard, I still enjoyed the film. I did not have to think. I got enjoy snacks while being entertained. Re-watching it 14 years later, so I know what is about to happen, but it still fun. This was never going to win an Oscar, and it has not become a cult classic, but one thing is for sure - this is a fun action film. It isn't all too dissimilar from the kind of action films the 1980's and 1990's brought us - lots of blood, guts, and high adrenaline - which FTR I love. The pinnacle of a 'Battle Royal' films that's been made, for me, is the 2000 "Battle Royale" - "The Condemned" just happens to be an American action hero version of that which is aimed at action film fans, jocks, dads, and big brothers. It is easy to watch and its still better than 25-30% of the rubbish that is made these days.
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