Nary a one laugh is to be found in this movie, nary a one! I mean, sure I've yet to see a single spoof that I can call quote unquote "good," but at least most of them can usually get one small smile or chuckle from me here or there. Okay, maybe it had one or two decent jokes... probably when Begley's character was trying to break into and then out of the asylum, but other than that, nothing. Transylvania 6-5000 was disappointingly slow and stale and even my adoration for Jeff Goldblum couldn't save it because his role, too, was like cardboard, though it pains me to say it that I have seen funnier pieces of cardboard. (Still love you though, Jeff) And Michael Richardson's role, meanwhile, comparing it to cardboard would be an insult to the cardboard, it makes no sense at all?? I like the premise, but the execution just had no heart or style. The main title song, however, is an absolute bop, can I just review the song? No? Alright. Overall my rating is a very flat meh, barely a meh actually, I'm not sure if it even deserves a meh, but it's not the worst movie I ever saw or anything, it's just not very good either.
Review of Transylvania 6-5000
