Alpine Lake (2020)
1/10
Possibly the worst film I've ever watched.
19 April 2021
I've seen a lot of bad films. I've seen a lot of inept films. But this is on a different level. It fails on every level as a story and as a film.

The sound throughout is painful. Sometimes, you could hear the actors. Sometimes not. Most of the time, they were using a microphone on the camera to capture interior dialog, and all the echoes and reverb that provides. And most brain melting, is that sometimes, they had a wireless lav on actors, but for shots of the actor running around in the woods, so you hear more clothing rubbing than anything else.

The cinematography is equally bad. 90% of all the shots are on a tripod with a not-so-fluid head, so any panning was jerky and NOT smooth. 9% of the shots were from a cheaper consumer drone, with an operator who couldn't get very smooth movements, and it was too small to not have that floating around footage when trying to stay still. The ONE shot that moved was when they put the camera on a towel on the floor and dragged it across, simulating a slider. But the shot was pointless as it didn't show or reveal anything a static shot wouldn't have established. And then they put a go pro (or maybe an actual camera) on the hood of a car for a driving shot, but the reflections on the windshield were so extreme that you couldn't see into the car. So much fail.

It appeared that they had one small LED panel that was battery operated, so any exterior night scene (and there were many many MANY exterior night scenes) were all lit by this one small LED panel.

And then there's the editing. Oh, my, the editing. Characters would teleport. There was no way to judge the passing of time. After a certain point, it was impossible to know where any character was at any moment, since they could be literally anywhere in once scene, and then cut to the next scene and they were also there. I also think there was a scene that was accidentally put in the wrong place in the film.

The writing is ridiculous, and the characters even more so. The acting is wooden and unmotivated.

I could go on and on, but I won't. This is quite possibly the worst waste of time I've ever seen for everyone involved in this film.
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