Review of Nightbeasts

Nightbeasts (2010)
5/10
I wanted to hate it
6 May 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I originally decided to watch this movie simply because of the numerous and obvious fake reviews. I wanted to tear them apart knowledgeably. But I'll be darned, I ended up liking this stupid movie.

At first I didn't know what to make of it. As a horror movie it sucked. But I clued in once Sasquatch started playing with the lights and sirens in the sheriff's car. My hunch solidified when I watched the old medicine man Crustyfoot interview to join the local tribe (I mean the questions were hilariously random). It's a total spoof of the 70's and 80's era Bigfoot movies. Lines like, "the earth troubles me this evening old man" and "No, not Clarence! Why God?", were delivered with a straight face. (The Deputy Clarence referenced was played by an English actor with an over the top hick accent, an IQ of 32, and irritable bowel syndrome.). The dad was played by Billy from Gremlins and he cracked me up. The son was perfect. Actually all of the acting was just horrible but you could tell it was done on purpose and it was done exactly right. Although I could've done without the ex wife character, she was just annoying and unnecessary.

The absolute best part was the Sasquatch. This was no lone Bigfoot running around, there were large groups of Bigfeet all over the place! And the suits!!! O. M. G. They were awesome! Imagine giant size Ewoks with ZZ Top beards. To perfect the look they took the facial expressions straight from Harry and The Hendersons. It was awesome.

The plot was simple. Dad and son go to the cabin for some hunting. You have the Indians (who live in teepees), the locals (who live in a shantytown out of the Wild West ), and "The Law" consisting of Sheriff Horace and Deputy Clarence. They are all shown with exaggerated stereotypical flair. The monsters come down from their caves to enact justice on the white man. Father and son try to survive.

Filming was professional, you could see everything even during the night scenes, sound was even, you could understand everybody even with the come and go accents, and the location looked good.

Don't go into this expecting horror or jump scares, you'll be disappointed. Just remember it's a parody, it won't give you straight up comedy. But you will be amused.

So, while the reviews are still totally fake, this movie ended up being pretty ok. I'd call it a solid 5/10.
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