LYCANTHROPE opens with a howl, a recitation of the poem from the original THE WOLF MAN, and a lesson about the depletion of the ozone layer. This is followed by a lovely woman enjoying a relaxing sponge bath.
Senseless slaughter ensues.
Enter Special Agent Bill Parker (Robert Carradine), and his impossibly annoying cohort, Lee Davis (Michael "the human sound effect" Winslow), who have arrived in the Amazonian rain forest (aka: a wooded lot, somewhere) to investigate the situation. Joined by some scientists and a soldier (aka: a male model with a gun), they trek through the jungle to the remote lab / outpost (aka: some vacant warehouse). This takes about a century.
Upon arrival, the smell of death is in the air (aka: someone left the script laying around). A male corpse is discovered with Silly Putty on his face, and strawberry jam has been smeared in various places. Simultaneously, Davis grows more irritating by the second.
When a female extra wanders off by herself, she's stalked by a lurking horror (aka: the camera set on "monster vision", and emphysema breathing). This can mean only one thing: It's time for Davis to be even more of a pest, complete with his "astounding" sound effects!
It turns out that the titular terror is actually some lost, goggle-eyed linebacker -in his team jersey- running around. "Twists" are added to explain why we've spent all this time watching this hogwash, while Carradine recounts the sins that have led to this point in his career.
A dreadful, brain-flattening experience...
Senseless slaughter ensues.
Enter Special Agent Bill Parker (Robert Carradine), and his impossibly annoying cohort, Lee Davis (Michael "the human sound effect" Winslow), who have arrived in the Amazonian rain forest (aka: a wooded lot, somewhere) to investigate the situation. Joined by some scientists and a soldier (aka: a male model with a gun), they trek through the jungle to the remote lab / outpost (aka: some vacant warehouse). This takes about a century.
Upon arrival, the smell of death is in the air (aka: someone left the script laying around). A male corpse is discovered with Silly Putty on his face, and strawberry jam has been smeared in various places. Simultaneously, Davis grows more irritating by the second.
When a female extra wanders off by herself, she's stalked by a lurking horror (aka: the camera set on "monster vision", and emphysema breathing). This can mean only one thing: It's time for Davis to be even more of a pest, complete with his "astounding" sound effects!
It turns out that the titular terror is actually some lost, goggle-eyed linebacker -in his team jersey- running around. "Twists" are added to explain why we've spent all this time watching this hogwash, while Carradine recounts the sins that have led to this point in his career.
A dreadful, brain-flattening experience...