Offensively unfunny in the sense that you're most likely going to be angry at yourself for wasting 90 minutes of your time, this hideously acted children's adventure starts off with foul odor with some really badly acted mean girls and a duo of "Home Alone" style villains who make Snidely Whiplash and Dick Dasterdly villains seem like real people. Steve Guttenberg and Curtis Armstrong are ridiculously dumb, acting like stroke victims while attempting to be darkly funny. Noah Centineo and Courtney Biggs are the teenagers on an adventure concerning the piece of a Conquistador medal that the two villains are after, and they literally end up in the rabbit hole after finding a treasure map and going into the woods for a fantasy that sadly has no fans.
There are some gloriously beautiful vistas, but that's not enough to make up for the ridiculous premise and cliched characters where you just instantly don't care. The film has a musical score that overwhelms the action and dialog that will make you wince. Poor Guttenberg looks like he'd rather be trapped inside a cocoon than stuck with a character that makes Wiley E. Coyote appear smart. Billy Zane plays Centineo's struggling father who is obviously ripped off from John Wesley Shipp in the "Never Ending Story" films. It takes nearly half of the movie for the adventure to really begin, and by that time, you're getting distracted by meaningless chores that show exactly why this compass is pointing in the wrong direction.
There are some gloriously beautiful vistas, but that's not enough to make up for the ridiculous premise and cliched characters where you just instantly don't care. The film has a musical score that overwhelms the action and dialog that will make you wince. Poor Guttenberg looks like he'd rather be trapped inside a cocoon than stuck with a character that makes Wiley E. Coyote appear smart. Billy Zane plays Centineo's struggling father who is obviously ripped off from John Wesley Shipp in the "Never Ending Story" films. It takes nearly half of the movie for the adventure to really begin, and by that time, you're getting distracted by meaningless chores that show exactly why this compass is pointing in the wrong direction.