This WRECKAGE of a movie could of been shortened to 40 minutes long, and still not be any different than the nearly 2 hour spectacle I just endured. I can't recall any other movie that has had so much empty space in it!! The sheer amount of time these people have managed to waste is impressive.... in the worst way possible way.
Once again, another new sci-fi movie that started out very promising.. then suddenly, as though it was hit in the brain by a speeding bus.... BOOM!!!! REEEEEEEEE!!!!
And as the final slap in the face, they managed to get the female lead character to shed clothing for no logical reason except to hold our attention for the last 20 minutes. This is now the go-to band aid for trash movies, and the Russians are even starting to do it now. The following is my interpretation of a conversation that must of taken place between the producers... Ivan: ''Hello comrade Vladimir. I fear that this movieflim production has become... how to say.... uhhh very long... muchitlno dolgo, da?'' Vladimir: "Da. Da. Yah songlassen? A vaii, Katya?'' Katherine: ''Yes ahh me too. Duomayiu. What shall we do to correct this prroblyem?'' Ivan: ''Well, let us first take drinks of aa vwodka and ideas may come? Da?'' .... pours a round of vodka... ''vash dorroveay to Putin!'' (others): Da da to Putin. Putin.'' ....then pours a second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh round... 3 hours later after a Russian polska dance and a can of potted meat.... Ivan: ''Ah huh!! Comrades i have found the solution to our problem! Instead of cutting out the many scenes of wasted time where nobody does anything, we keep all movie the same, but we will tell lead girl to take her pants off for the rest of the film!'' (others): ''Da da brilliant! Very good! Da da da.''
Once again, another new sci-fi movie that started out very promising.. then suddenly, as though it was hit in the brain by a speeding bus.... BOOM!!!! REEEEEEEEE!!!!
And as the final slap in the face, they managed to get the female lead character to shed clothing for no logical reason except to hold our attention for the last 20 minutes. This is now the go-to band aid for trash movies, and the Russians are even starting to do it now. The following is my interpretation of a conversation that must of taken place between the producers... Ivan: ''Hello comrade Vladimir. I fear that this movieflim production has become... how to say.... uhhh very long... muchitlno dolgo, da?'' Vladimir: "Da. Da. Yah songlassen? A vaii, Katya?'' Katherine: ''Yes ahh me too. Duomayiu. What shall we do to correct this prroblyem?'' Ivan: ''Well, let us first take drinks of aa vwodka and ideas may come? Da?'' .... pours a round of vodka... ''vash dorroveay to Putin!'' (others): Da da to Putin. Putin.'' ....then pours a second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh round... 3 hours later after a Russian polska dance and a can of potted meat.... Ivan: ''Ah huh!! Comrades i have found the solution to our problem! Instead of cutting out the many scenes of wasted time where nobody does anything, we keep all movie the same, but we will tell lead girl to take her pants off for the rest of the film!'' (others): ''Da da brilliant! Very good! Da da da.''