Series 8 Episode 4
Arthur plays poker with several men, including Big Mike and Nick Rutherford. During the last hand Nick has a chance to win but says he has run out of cash. He asks Arthur to loan him £2,000. Arthur declines. Nick tells him he has a German car, a collectors item, that he will sell to Arthur so he can see Big Mike in the game, then when he wins he will buy the car back from Arthur for £3,000. Arthur agrees. Big Mike beats Nick's hand, leaving Arthur stuck with the car. Later, Nick and Big Mike laugh about what occurred with a third man, Ashley Brown.
In the morning, Arthur and Ray are driving to an auction and Arthur tells Ray about the German car. At the auction, Arthur is bidding on furniture. The auctioneers assistant approaches Arthur to tell him he has an urgent phone call, which sounds important. He tells Arthur the furniture is expected to sell for £3,000. Arthur tells Ray to keep bidding, but not to go above £2,000. On the phone a woman tells Arthur she is at the hospital and his wife has had a baby. Arthur says that is impossible and returns to the auction and immediately bids £1,400, which is instantly the winning bid. Ray looks concerned. The auctioneer says next is lot number 45. Arthur notes that can't be right, he just bought lot 43. Ray tells him the auctioneer raced through the bidding after Arthur left and the furniture sold for £2,800. Arthur wonders what he bought for £1,400. It turns out to be a greyhound, Lightning Bertie.
In the car, Arthur blames Ray, who insists he tried to slow the bidding down. Arthur reads Bertie's race history and decides he should be able to find a buyer. Ray mentions Billy from Bradford.
Ashley Brown is with Big Mike and Nick. The auctioneer calls to tell him what happened with Arthur. Nick says "two down, one to go." Ashley mentions one of the things they all have in common is they have all been conned by Arthur over the years. What could be more natural than them getting together to con Arthur.
At the lock-up, Arthur offers Bertie to Billy for £2,000. Billy declines but will try to find a buyer. Arthur means to keep Bertie at his house in the meantime, but his wife kicks him out after causing damage.
At the Winchester, Arthur and Ray arrive with Bertie. Dave asks Arthur if he bought his furniture at the auction, but Arthur claims it was too expensive. Ray sits at a table and two men, Mark and Roger, sit close by talking. Ray eavesdrops their conversation. Mark mentions he has a customer wanting to buy a Medina iron frame upright piano, willing to pay up to £4,000, and he can't find one. Arthur walks over and they quickly leave.
Arthur and Ray are at the lock up with Bertie. Arthur says Billy has informed him Bertie ruptured a tendon and can no longer race. Arthur has the idea to put him to stud. He wants Ray to look after Bertie for the night. Ray refuses.
In the morning, Ray wakes up with Lucy, his girlfriend. When she enters the living room she is startled by Arthur and Bertie sleeping in a chair. Over breakfast Lucy tells Arthur her uncle is a bookmaker and he will know some dog trainers. Arthur recognises her as the daughter of a business associate, Bouncing Morry. He tells her if she finds him a good trainer he won't mention where she spent the night.
At the car lot, Arthur takes delivery of his German car, a Trabant. He tells Ray they need to hide it in the lock-up before anyone sees. A customer, Mr Wilson, is looking at a car. He approaches Ray about a trade, the car for a piano. Ray instinctively dismisses it, then he enquires what make the piano is.
D. S. Morley and D. C. Park observe Ashley Brown leaving Morry's shop. Park mentions Morry does a lot of business with Arthur. Morley enters the shop and asks what Ashley Brown wanted. Lucy enters from the back room. Morry dismisses Morley's enquiry. Morley asks if Ashley mentioned Arthur. Morry is reluctant to answer. Lucy encourages him to be honest. Morry says he is about to invest a large amount of money in Arthur's business. Lucy says Ashley Brown told her father not to do business with Arthur. Morry tells Morley that Ashley told him Arthur is finished and his judgement is gone, mentioning "the Trabant, the greyhound and the piano."
Ray goes to Mike's antique store. He mentions he overheard him in the Winchester saying he was looking for a Medina iron frame upright piano. Ray tells him he has one in excellent condition that he can have for £2,000 and Mike will be making a 100% profit. Mike says it a pity the customer changed their mind. Ray offers the piano to Mike, since they are so rare. Mike tells him that actually you can easily get hold of one for as little as £100. Big Mike receives news informing him Ray has been conned. Ashley Brown tells Big Mike and Nick to spread the news around so everyone knows.
At the lock-up, Arthur says regular customers are cancelling. Ashley Brown phones Arthur, wondering if he reconsidered his offer to buy out his business. Arthur dismisses him. Ashley makes a joke about the piano, which Arthur knows nothing about. Ray comes clean about the piano, which is delivered to the lock-up. Arthur pieces together how Ray was conned by Mike and Roger. Morry, watched by Ashley, phones Arthur and cancels his investment. Arthur pieces together what has been going on with the cons and why Morry has cancelled his investment. People are losing confidence in Arthur. He knows Ashley Brown is the instigator. Ray wants revenge. Arthur tells him violence won't work and they must not let anyone know they have been triple conned. Morley arrives, sees the piano, the car and Bertie and laughs at Arthur.
Arthur offers the piano to Dave for the Winchester. He takes Bertie to a stud farm. The piano gets stuck on the staircase whilst being installed at the Winchester. Ray has to cut away the banisters, much to Dave's anger. Morley arrives and gives them 48 hours to replace them. Bertie isn't performing at the stud farm. The trainer tells Arthur it could be dietary.
Arthur and Ray sit on a park bench. Arthur is downbeat. He tells Ray their situation is making him feel old. Ray feeds Bertie some sausages and lets him off the lead. Bertie then sexually assaults a female dog being walked nearby. Arthur tells to Ray to feed Bertie more sausages and return him to the stud farm.
In the Winchester, a man called Middleton, arrives looking for Arthur. Nick Rutherford is at the bar and stops Middleton as he is leaving, explaining he is a business associate of Arthur's. Later, Nick informs Ashley Brown that Middleton supplies props for movies and desperately needs a Trabant car. Production has stalled until Middleton can find one. Middleton has discovered Arthur owns one and is prepared to pay any price for the car. Nick and Ashley laugh.
At the lock-up, Ray tells Arthur he has a friend who wants to buy the Trabant. Arthur agrees to sell it for £2,000., the price he paid for it. Nick arrives at the lock-up, saying he feels bad about the poker night, and wants to make amends by buying the Trabant back. He offers Arthur £2,000. Arthur tells him he has already agreed to sell it to Ray. Suddenly, Ray informs Arthur someone called Middleton just phoned, desperate to talk to Arthur. Nick immediately offers £3,000, which Ray matches. They make competing bids until Ray offers £9,500 and says that's his best offer. Nick offers £10,000, cash in hand right there and then. Arthur accepts Nick's offer. Ray excuses himself and enters the office. With Nick gone, Arthur enters the office to apologise to Ray, who laughs and reveals Middleton was a fake that he and Lucy arranged to con Nick into buying back the Trabant.
At the Winchester, Arthur mentions Bertie is a success at the stud farm. He gives Ray a bonus and gives Dave £1,000 for some of his shares in the Winchester, and tells Dave the piano and new banisters are on him. Arthur sings "My Way" accompanied by a pianist. Morley enters, noting he thought he heard singing, but the Winchester doesn't have a music license and as far as he is concerned never will. Arthur tells Ray to fetch his chainsaw so the can remove the piano.
Arthur plays poker with several men, including Big Mike and Nick Rutherford. During the last hand Nick has a chance to win but says he has run out of cash. He asks Arthur to loan him £2,000. Arthur declines. Nick tells him he has a German car, a collectors item, that he will sell to Arthur so he can see Big Mike in the game, then when he wins he will buy the car back from Arthur for £3,000. Arthur agrees. Big Mike beats Nick's hand, leaving Arthur stuck with the car. Later, Nick and Big Mike laugh about what occurred with a third man, Ashley Brown.
In the morning, Arthur and Ray are driving to an auction and Arthur tells Ray about the German car. At the auction, Arthur is bidding on furniture. The auctioneers assistant approaches Arthur to tell him he has an urgent phone call, which sounds important. He tells Arthur the furniture is expected to sell for £3,000. Arthur tells Ray to keep bidding, but not to go above £2,000. On the phone a woman tells Arthur she is at the hospital and his wife has had a baby. Arthur says that is impossible and returns to the auction and immediately bids £1,400, which is instantly the winning bid. Ray looks concerned. The auctioneer says next is lot number 45. Arthur notes that can't be right, he just bought lot 43. Ray tells him the auctioneer raced through the bidding after Arthur left and the furniture sold for £2,800. Arthur wonders what he bought for £1,400. It turns out to be a greyhound, Lightning Bertie.
In the car, Arthur blames Ray, who insists he tried to slow the bidding down. Arthur reads Bertie's race history and decides he should be able to find a buyer. Ray mentions Billy from Bradford.
Ashley Brown is with Big Mike and Nick. The auctioneer calls to tell him what happened with Arthur. Nick says "two down, one to go." Ashley mentions one of the things they all have in common is they have all been conned by Arthur over the years. What could be more natural than them getting together to con Arthur.
At the lock-up, Arthur offers Bertie to Billy for £2,000. Billy declines but will try to find a buyer. Arthur means to keep Bertie at his house in the meantime, but his wife kicks him out after causing damage.
At the Winchester, Arthur and Ray arrive with Bertie. Dave asks Arthur if he bought his furniture at the auction, but Arthur claims it was too expensive. Ray sits at a table and two men, Mark and Roger, sit close by talking. Ray eavesdrops their conversation. Mark mentions he has a customer wanting to buy a Medina iron frame upright piano, willing to pay up to £4,000, and he can't find one. Arthur walks over and they quickly leave.
Arthur and Ray are at the lock up with Bertie. Arthur says Billy has informed him Bertie ruptured a tendon and can no longer race. Arthur has the idea to put him to stud. He wants Ray to look after Bertie for the night. Ray refuses.
In the morning, Ray wakes up with Lucy, his girlfriend. When she enters the living room she is startled by Arthur and Bertie sleeping in a chair. Over breakfast Lucy tells Arthur her uncle is a bookmaker and he will know some dog trainers. Arthur recognises her as the daughter of a business associate, Bouncing Morry. He tells her if she finds him a good trainer he won't mention where she spent the night.
At the car lot, Arthur takes delivery of his German car, a Trabant. He tells Ray they need to hide it in the lock-up before anyone sees. A customer, Mr Wilson, is looking at a car. He approaches Ray about a trade, the car for a piano. Ray instinctively dismisses it, then he enquires what make the piano is.
D. S. Morley and D. C. Park observe Ashley Brown leaving Morry's shop. Park mentions Morry does a lot of business with Arthur. Morley enters the shop and asks what Ashley Brown wanted. Lucy enters from the back room. Morry dismisses Morley's enquiry. Morley asks if Ashley mentioned Arthur. Morry is reluctant to answer. Lucy encourages him to be honest. Morry says he is about to invest a large amount of money in Arthur's business. Lucy says Ashley Brown told her father not to do business with Arthur. Morry tells Morley that Ashley told him Arthur is finished and his judgement is gone, mentioning "the Trabant, the greyhound and the piano."
Ray goes to Mike's antique store. He mentions he overheard him in the Winchester saying he was looking for a Medina iron frame upright piano. Ray tells him he has one in excellent condition that he can have for £2,000 and Mike will be making a 100% profit. Mike says it a pity the customer changed their mind. Ray offers the piano to Mike, since they are so rare. Mike tells him that actually you can easily get hold of one for as little as £100. Big Mike receives news informing him Ray has been conned. Ashley Brown tells Big Mike and Nick to spread the news around so everyone knows.
At the lock-up, Arthur says regular customers are cancelling. Ashley Brown phones Arthur, wondering if he reconsidered his offer to buy out his business. Arthur dismisses him. Ashley makes a joke about the piano, which Arthur knows nothing about. Ray comes clean about the piano, which is delivered to the lock-up. Arthur pieces together how Ray was conned by Mike and Roger. Morry, watched by Ashley, phones Arthur and cancels his investment. Arthur pieces together what has been going on with the cons and why Morry has cancelled his investment. People are losing confidence in Arthur. He knows Ashley Brown is the instigator. Ray wants revenge. Arthur tells him violence won't work and they must not let anyone know they have been triple conned. Morley arrives, sees the piano, the car and Bertie and laughs at Arthur.
Arthur offers the piano to Dave for the Winchester. He takes Bertie to a stud farm. The piano gets stuck on the staircase whilst being installed at the Winchester. Ray has to cut away the banisters, much to Dave's anger. Morley arrives and gives them 48 hours to replace them. Bertie isn't performing at the stud farm. The trainer tells Arthur it could be dietary.
Arthur and Ray sit on a park bench. Arthur is downbeat. He tells Ray their situation is making him feel old. Ray feeds Bertie some sausages and lets him off the lead. Bertie then sexually assaults a female dog being walked nearby. Arthur tells to Ray to feed Bertie more sausages and return him to the stud farm.
In the Winchester, a man called Middleton, arrives looking for Arthur. Nick Rutherford is at the bar and stops Middleton as he is leaving, explaining he is a business associate of Arthur's. Later, Nick informs Ashley Brown that Middleton supplies props for movies and desperately needs a Trabant car. Production has stalled until Middleton can find one. Middleton has discovered Arthur owns one and is prepared to pay any price for the car. Nick and Ashley laugh.
At the lock-up, Ray tells Arthur he has a friend who wants to buy the Trabant. Arthur agrees to sell it for £2,000., the price he paid for it. Nick arrives at the lock-up, saying he feels bad about the poker night, and wants to make amends by buying the Trabant back. He offers Arthur £2,000. Arthur tells him he has already agreed to sell it to Ray. Suddenly, Ray informs Arthur someone called Middleton just phoned, desperate to talk to Arthur. Nick immediately offers £3,000, which Ray matches. They make competing bids until Ray offers £9,500 and says that's his best offer. Nick offers £10,000, cash in hand right there and then. Arthur accepts Nick's offer. Ray excuses himself and enters the office. With Nick gone, Arthur enters the office to apologise to Ray, who laughs and reveals Middleton was a fake that he and Lucy arranged to con Nick into buying back the Trabant.
At the Winchester, Arthur mentions Bertie is a success at the stud farm. He gives Ray a bonus and gives Dave £1,000 for some of his shares in the Winchester, and tells Dave the piano and new banisters are on him. Arthur sings "My Way" accompanied by a pianist. Morley enters, noting he thought he heard singing, but the Winchester doesn't have a music license and as far as he is concerned never will. Arthur tells Ray to fetch his chainsaw so the can remove the piano.