4/10
"People believe anything" such as this being good
22 August 2021
This film was a painful experience. A soul crushing reminder that we can't have a straightforward superhero film anymore- no, everything needs to be crammed into that 2hour runtime, establishing sequels in the last 10 minutes for the next film and all in all not giving the characters a proper conclusion. The problem with these movies is that they feel so weightless- there's no gravitas, no stakes, just constant cookie cutter buffoonery without giving us anything to care about.

On every other level this film fails to captivate me as an aesthetician. Seldomly have I seen a film that looks and feels this fake and phony. There's almost nothing practical in this film with the exception of some actual authentic european locations. A constant barrage of awful green screen and CGI work plastered onto every shot, erasing any sort of immersion. There's not A SINGLE shot of Spiderman in an actual fabricated costume. He always looks like a cartoon character injected into the hideously lit scenery.

The editing is piss poor, scenes just abruptly end and don't connect together. There's so many blatantly obvious greenscreen reshoots intertwined with the actual location shots, it's bafflingly bad. The film language in low budget movies is more sophisticated and ambitious than in this 200 million dollar turkey. Also a major disappointment: Giacchinos score. It's so bland and generic, just a conglomeration of previously established superhero scores. It doesn't emote anything remotely close to the iconic Elfman score, and you can't argue with me on that one.

I'm sick of MCU films being some shot-reverse-shot improv comedy with some terrible CGI slapped onto them. It feels so incredibly lazy. I have a hard time accepting that this is what people want nowadays after being exposed to so many great blockbuster movies.

The only impressive scenes are the ones that are fully CG but they stand out in an annoying way, because these sections are basically animated short films. And the chemistry between the actors is, as in many MCU films, very organic even though I thought the performances were all around extremely bland. This material just doesn't give them anything to feast on, it's such an easy paycheck movie. And thats why Raimis SM films remain undefeated.
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