The Last Sect (2006)
2/10
Unfathomably tedious, and little else
10 October 2021
Sometimes you know what you're getting into - and you know you're going to regret it - but something compels you to proceed nonetheless. So it was with 'The last sect.' It's not just that this is bad - it's not even perfunctorily entertaining.

It's difficult to tell whether director Jonathan Dueck or screenwriter David Robbeson is more responsible for the tawdry pablum on display here. Highly stylized, slightly animated text appears on screen to establish the setting for each scene, and other computer-rendered effects are just as unsightly. Dialogue is at turns annoyingly crass, mundanely banal, simply dull, and or excessive to the point of being superfluous. Scenes in general are mostly either pointlessly ham-fisted and over the top, or direly soporific in their dearth of eventfulness. Characters are presumably supposed to demonstrate poise or emotional conflict with their careful, calculated delivery and body language, but instead what comes across is that that the scenes are so bereft of substance that the cast were instructed to draw out their acting at any given moment so as to give the pretense, and fill time.

Star David Carradine is reduced to a mere shell of what presence or strength of character he has previously demonstrated elsewhere. This version of Van Helsing is an educated, experienced, yet somewhat addle-minded and tiresomely verbose old man who for almost the full movie is given nothing more to do than to speak loquaciously, providing lore and exposition. In fact, the entire first two-thirds of the film are characterized by almost nothing but dialogue, with meager, piecemeal plot progression in that time. Even as we do get small bursts of stimulation in the last interminable length, the feature remains devoted to listless dialogue above all.

To be clear - it's not just Carradine. The whole cast are forced into lacking, sluggish, drowsy performances that make one wonder if everyone took sedatives before the cameras started rolling on any given day. Julian Richings provides a more dynamic display of acting (and action) than Carradine as hunter ally Karpov, but still with the impossible constraints of utmost sloth. Most of the vampires are given nothing to do but look pretty and occasionally bare very plainly artificial fangs. Natalie Brown, as protagonist Sydney, is at least provided a character experiencing a complex range of emotions, and she does the best she can to inhabit that role - but then she's hamstrung as the camera inelegantly cuts elsewhere. Deborah Odell, as sect leader Anna, theoretically should be imposing and impressive - but again, the issue of being coerced into drawing out each scene to inflate the film's sense of drama.

I appreciate the work of those attending to wardrobe and costume design, hair, and makeup, and set decoration. I think the basic concept of the story has potential, and there are bare-bones sketches of a scant few good ideas. But the chemistry between Brown and Odell as scene partners, the import of Sydney's inner conflict, the climax, the slyly winking ending - 'The last sect' is so heavy-handed in the advancement of its lethargic tedium that scenes and interactions are stripped of their potential impact. I genuinely feel bad for everyone in front of the camera.

Incredibly, this isn't the worst movie I've ever seen. But it surely seems to me like the filmmakers were trying to make it so. I had low expectations, and they were squarely met, but I'm still disappointed because there was just enough possibility with this cast that even just a small measure of tweaking to the screenplay, and a bit more careful consideration overall, would have gone a long way toward making the feature worthwhile. As it is, what we get is just a laborious, drab slog. Even if you're a diehard fan of vampires, or someone in the cast, I can't imagine recommending 'The last sect' to anyone at all.
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