The Zero Boys (1986)
5/10
Boys With Toys
3 November 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Pretty corny introduction titles. How many times do they have to keep showing the movie title? Is that Rocky 4 training music I detect.?

So we're at an abandon Universal movie set. Was that one of the Frog Brothers?

Michael dudikoff seems to be hunted. Must be some sort of mock paintball skirmish thing?

The dead guy from "Platoon" is back. Don't tell me I'm watching a goofy comedy?

There's no "Boyz in the Hood" as they seem like preppy privileged pretty boys. One of the Frog Brothers constitutes a touch of "The Lost Boys." And all the macho bravado infuses a blend of "Boys in Company C."

Wait a minute, is this sort of like "Edge of Honor?" Are we back on the set of "Grandmother's House?" These dry roads look awfully familiar.

So some rich privileged college kids travel upstate and trespass on grandmother's house and it looks like there's gonna be a touch of "Deliverance" about it.

I love the clown with the belly lint in his hair. If they re-imagined this movie today I can see Mark Walberg being in it.

The guy with the static belly fluff in his hair is the first to be picked off. I love how all these other pretty boys have perfect well manicured hair all the time, never once out of place.

One of the killers in this is wearing a woollen pullover, which was conditioned with Downey. He's just some college dropout. He looks like Martin Sheen at times.

Movie turns into "Hunter's Blood" and I'm curious to know how 5 people, all armed with automatics, are being hunted by 2 flunkies with bow and arrows.

Working together sees a team effort take down the first baddie in an uninspired fashion.

Then the halfwit, in the knitted Winter pullover, is tasered into submission and pumped full of banana clip. Cut to Freddie Mercury sitting in a tree and the movie just ends.

Okay.

Was the movie edited? What happened to the 3 under the house? Is/was there a sequel?

Movie leaves ya with a suspended sense of no emotion.

Fruitless exercise.

I don't know how to rate this?

Five's too generous. But five's my "I don't like it, I don't hate it" rating. And I kind of hated this.
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