Eternals gets it wrong on many levels. It brings a great cast, nicely done visuals and exciting action sequences to cover its numerous plot holes. Unfortunately, it is a bandaid on a shotgun hole of a script.
If Eternals were a song, I'd say it has all of my favorite instruments played by all of my favorite artists, poorly equalized, shoddily mixed, and the resulting sound is a muddled confusing mess of melodies that leave me scratching my head as to how all of these great elements could result in such a lackluster final product.
Like many of you, I wanted to love this movie. What's not to love? But after the credits (and the post credits), I found myself more frustrated and disappointed than I thought possible, given the talent involved. But, before I talk about my objections, allow me to issue some praise.
The cast were good at their job. The actors delivered in many scenes with believable chemistry, emotion and humor. The directing didn't allow them a lot of personality, but they still provided enough feeling to sell some of the key scenes.
The visuals were fun, if a bit Doctor Strange-esque and unoriginal. The CGI was solid. The atmosphere and cinematography was really good. The sets were elaborate and visually delightful in some cases.
But I'm not rating this low because of what I loved. Let's talk about the problems.
The plot. The plot, which was straightforward enough in theory (Celestials farm beings on planets to birth new celestials using Eternals, who fall in love with humans and decide to prevent their destruction and fight back against their makers) turns out to be increasingly convoluted and philosophical as the film trudges on, with so much left unexplained, despite the long run time. A few extremely confusing examples:
Why do celestials create Eternals with fake memories and deceive them about the process then wipe their memories after each planet? Why not just create Eternals who know the truth and do their jobs correctly?
Why do celestials need sentient beings to be birthed at all? When the celestial is being born at the end, the humans aren't killed, he just emerges from the planet itself. It doesn't appear his emergence required sentient life in any way, just a planet.
If celestials can just swipe up Eternals from a planet when they disobey commands, why not just swipe up deviants as well when they go rogue?
Do deviants multiply? Do Eternals? They seem to have sex, but can they have kids? If they don't multiply naturally, why would they be programmed to have sex and fall in love?
Why are Eternals programmed with various human dialects, traits and even disabilities that won't develop in the human race for millions of years? I mean, do they really need Scottish accents, need to look like undeveloped adolescents? What are the advantages to that?
And then let's talk about the philosophical questions brought up, but not addressed well, of which there are many.
The movie very specifically brings up major philosophical issues, such as the problem of evil, the trolly problem (how many lives is one life worth), the nature of free will, the meaning of life, consequentialism, mora subjectivity...the list goes on and on. The problem is, the director doesn't know what to say about these issues, and seems to repeatedly contradict herself or question herself in her own endeavor to bring the story to a close. Is God bad? Yes...uh...maybe? Is it right to save earth? Perhaps, but maybe only from a low level humanistic view? Is it right to follow your heart? Yes...Er...unless it turns out wrong? What's the best course of action for an unredeemable character? Suicide...apparently.
We should be proud to be who we are, no matter who we are, so long as we aren't too loyal to our deity, so in love that we make poor choices, so devoted to our worldview that we refuse to be involved, so committed to non-violence that we don't go to war when needed, so compassionate that we lie to protect...omg
I can't with this crazy, non-committal mess of a script, forcing you to second-guess your second guessing and wrapping up plot lines so hastily as to not even bother explaining them.
Sentient deviant? Nevermind. He just dies in the end.
Sprite loves Ikarus? He commits suicide and she barely expresses remorse.
Special Eternal dagger given to a kid in the opening scene? Turns up later and seems like an important artifact, but you'll forget about that until after the credits, then wonder why.
Emerald tablet? I don't know. Why was that important?
Thena's disease? Still there, but it's real memories. I guess she's safe to wield her blade around children by the closing scenes.
The boyfriend? Yeah, no. They won't explain him.
There must be deleted scenes explaining these things, but the movie doesn't care. It doesn't know what it wants to say or who was doing the right thing, but earth is saved. For now.
Ugh. I haven't been this frustrated at a hero movie since The New Mutants, which was an absolute train wreck, but whereas that movie was a paper thin plot with cliche writing, this movie is a bloated behemoth of a plot which refuses to commit to its source material or deliver on its moral and ethical questions.
It's too morally shy. It's too philosophically unsure of itself. All it knows is that it's family focused and we should stick together. Unless you make a mistake. Then suicide might be a good option. Just don't trust the omniscient, all powerful God. Better to figure things out with your own faulty short-sighted memories and limited perspective.
Ok, ok, I digress. You get it.
Go see it. I'd love to hear what you make of it.
If Eternals were a song, I'd say it has all of my favorite instruments played by all of my favorite artists, poorly equalized, shoddily mixed, and the resulting sound is a muddled confusing mess of melodies that leave me scratching my head as to how all of these great elements could result in such a lackluster final product.
Like many of you, I wanted to love this movie. What's not to love? But after the credits (and the post credits), I found myself more frustrated and disappointed than I thought possible, given the talent involved. But, before I talk about my objections, allow me to issue some praise.
The cast were good at their job. The actors delivered in many scenes with believable chemistry, emotion and humor. The directing didn't allow them a lot of personality, but they still provided enough feeling to sell some of the key scenes.
The visuals were fun, if a bit Doctor Strange-esque and unoriginal. The CGI was solid. The atmosphere and cinematography was really good. The sets were elaborate and visually delightful in some cases.
But I'm not rating this low because of what I loved. Let's talk about the problems.
The plot. The plot, which was straightforward enough in theory (Celestials farm beings on planets to birth new celestials using Eternals, who fall in love with humans and decide to prevent their destruction and fight back against their makers) turns out to be increasingly convoluted and philosophical as the film trudges on, with so much left unexplained, despite the long run time. A few extremely confusing examples:
Why do celestials create Eternals with fake memories and deceive them about the process then wipe their memories after each planet? Why not just create Eternals who know the truth and do their jobs correctly?
Why do celestials need sentient beings to be birthed at all? When the celestial is being born at the end, the humans aren't killed, he just emerges from the planet itself. It doesn't appear his emergence required sentient life in any way, just a planet.
If celestials can just swipe up Eternals from a planet when they disobey commands, why not just swipe up deviants as well when they go rogue?
Do deviants multiply? Do Eternals? They seem to have sex, but can they have kids? If they don't multiply naturally, why would they be programmed to have sex and fall in love?
Why are Eternals programmed with various human dialects, traits and even disabilities that won't develop in the human race for millions of years? I mean, do they really need Scottish accents, need to look like undeveloped adolescents? What are the advantages to that?
And then let's talk about the philosophical questions brought up, but not addressed well, of which there are many.
The movie very specifically brings up major philosophical issues, such as the problem of evil, the trolly problem (how many lives is one life worth), the nature of free will, the meaning of life, consequentialism, mora subjectivity...the list goes on and on. The problem is, the director doesn't know what to say about these issues, and seems to repeatedly contradict herself or question herself in her own endeavor to bring the story to a close. Is God bad? Yes...uh...maybe? Is it right to save earth? Perhaps, but maybe only from a low level humanistic view? Is it right to follow your heart? Yes...Er...unless it turns out wrong? What's the best course of action for an unredeemable character? Suicide...apparently.
We should be proud to be who we are, no matter who we are, so long as we aren't too loyal to our deity, so in love that we make poor choices, so devoted to our worldview that we refuse to be involved, so committed to non-violence that we don't go to war when needed, so compassionate that we lie to protect...omg
I can't with this crazy, non-committal mess of a script, forcing you to second-guess your second guessing and wrapping up plot lines so hastily as to not even bother explaining them.
Sentient deviant? Nevermind. He just dies in the end.
Sprite loves Ikarus? He commits suicide and she barely expresses remorse.
Special Eternal dagger given to a kid in the opening scene? Turns up later and seems like an important artifact, but you'll forget about that until after the credits, then wonder why.
Emerald tablet? I don't know. Why was that important?
Thena's disease? Still there, but it's real memories. I guess she's safe to wield her blade around children by the closing scenes.
The boyfriend? Yeah, no. They won't explain him.
There must be deleted scenes explaining these things, but the movie doesn't care. It doesn't know what it wants to say or who was doing the right thing, but earth is saved. For now.
Ugh. I haven't been this frustrated at a hero movie since The New Mutants, which was an absolute train wreck, but whereas that movie was a paper thin plot with cliche writing, this movie is a bloated behemoth of a plot which refuses to commit to its source material or deliver on its moral and ethical questions.
It's too morally shy. It's too philosophically unsure of itself. All it knows is that it's family focused and we should stick together. Unless you make a mistake. Then suicide might be a good option. Just don't trust the omniscient, all powerful God. Better to figure things out with your own faulty short-sighted memories and limited perspective.
Ok, ok, I digress. You get it.
Go see it. I'd love to hear what you make of it.