The Batman (2022)
4/10
Melodramatic, monstrously long, mediocre, and boring.
5 March 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I'm not sure where to begin as I don't generally want to spoil the reveals, but the big twists in the film were very anticlimactic. For 'The Batman'; Matt Reeves seemed to borrow from some of the bigger books such as 'Batman: Year One', 'Hush', and 'Batman: The Long Halloween'. Reeves also leaned heavily onto films such as 'The French Connection', 'Zodiac', and the noir classic 'Chinatown'. The general feel of the movie sought to relate Batman in the detective role that he's famous for in the comics, but unfortunately ignores any attempt at Batman's level of crime & mystery.

The acting was really good. There's a great cast of professionals in this film, although Robert Patterson isn't allowed a range of emotion. Bruce Wayne and Batman are completely indistinguishable as the tired emo-kid who walks through life with severe lethargy. Colin Farrell is unrecognizable as the Penguin, and dare I say gave the greatest performance of his life. A large portion of the film is writing out a semi-origin story for Oswald Cobblepot and his rise to become Gotham's crime boss. A lot of the villains are the origin stories here. Batman (the character) is basically introduced the way he is in 'Batman: Year Two' and I thought that was a mistake. Year one of Batman would have been wonderful on screen. The audience seeing Bruce Wayne learning to use fear in his early days would have been a relief to this movie's "Everyone is just scared of him." plot device. Zoe Kravitz's performance as Selena Kyle becoming Cat Woman was under-developed, as she was so much fun to watch in 'The Batman' that I'd like to see this spin-off into a stand-alone Cat Woman release. Jeffery Wright was brilliant (of course) even remaining quiet in the Batman's background he pulled the attention onto himself, mostly because Patterson's portrayal was incredibly stiff. Paul Dano as The Riddler was exactly what I wanted to see in this movie. The character reached a new level of applause as a serial killer, but saddly that part of the plot was put on the back burner for the lackluster crime drama with Carmine Falcone. John Turturro was great as the crime boss Falcone, but the plot focused too long on his side story rather than offering more clues about the killings. It dragged on so long that it bored me completely. I went into 'The Batman' to see him match wits with a clever serial killer, not be re-educated about the connection between Thomas Wayne & Carmine Falcone again.

The action sequences with the car chases and the fight choreography seemed old fashioned in a way. I knew before hand that Reeves lifted from some older better known films, but it's as if they dropped the budget on these scenes. Batman racing to catch the Penguin was an old muscle car Batmobile versus (what I'm guessing was) a 1980's Buick. I was laughing at this chase scene... it was presented with such seriousness that maybe if Penguin were in an expensive Italian sports car, I might have enjoyed it. But it was literally a supped-up car desperately trying to out pace my mom's car. The fighting was dull. Hand to hand combat is one of the first things Bruce Wayne learns before donning the cowl. But in this movie Batman is throwing punches a newly trained boxer would scoff at. So much of these scenes were empty and devoid of thrills and chills, that I wondered where the editor was.

'The Batman' is simply too long. It's a ridiculous attempt to impress fans of it's own significance. It fails at cohesive story-telling and it basically pats itself on the back throughout the unnecessary musical score. Unlike the Dark Knight before it - I won't watch it again.
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