One of the worst episodes of Family Guy ever. When we get to the dinner scene here's what Quagmire says after Brian attempts to get on his good side.
"You constantly hit on your best friends wife"
Ok well guess what Glen, so do you! You spy on her like a creep and keep pictures of her in your house. Brian had one episode where he tried to sleep with Lois. Since then he actually isn't hitting on her anymore. Oh by the way didn't you also sleep with your other friends wife?? Seems a little hypocritical...
"All you do is date bimbos"
Brian dated Jillian, who yes, is a total bimbo. But he's dated a ton of intelligent women. Literally dated a 50 year old woman two episodes before this one. He was on some bachelor show and found the woman he was into was smarter than he thought. Brian values intelligence.
"I date women for their bodies but at least I'm honest about it"
You're literally a rapist. You don't date women. You take them to your house, roofie them, and then use weird contraptions in your house to force them to give you oral sex. We've seen this when Peter and friends are at his bachelor pad house.
"What have you done to help?? I work down at the soup kitchen Brian, never seen you down there!"
Brian and Stewie literally got weed legalized in Quohog through a catchy dance number. Then de-legalized with another song and dance routine. Have YOU ever done that Quagmire? I don't think so.
"Oh wait you don't believe in Jesus Christ!"
JESUS IS LITERALLY ON THE SHOW. How the hell could Brian NOT believe in a character WHO HE AND HIS WHOLE FAMILY HAVE MET SEVERAL TIMES?!
"You failed college twice!"
Your best friend, who is legally mentally handicapped, failed the second grade and had to go back and repeat a bunch of grades, never hear you calling him out for that.
"See ya Brian! Thanks for the f***ing steak"
After Glen berates Brian in a thoroughly unpleasant and rude monologue he leaves. Seems to be a nice restaurant. He doesn't leave any money on the table. Didn't he just talk about how Brian mooches off of people and says "I'll get you later" but never pays them back. So now you're gonna just make Brian pay for everything Glen. That's ok??
Let's talk about you Quagmire. You hold women hostage against their will. You're a flat out rapist something you have admitted to on NUMEROUS occasions. You're incredibly transphobic. You're racist (which to be fair so is Brian, but even Brian notices when he's being racist and is trying to work on it.) In the previous episode you gave up your daughter because you weren't man enough to be a father despite being sixty years old and despite her being your total responsibility because you were too stupid and irresponsible to wear a condom. You then mentioned that you don't want her to go to "sand people" You tag women and treat them like objects. You told Jerome you were keeping a woman in your basement and needed to feed her. Brian was a actually trying to mend the relationship. But Quagmire proves to be the most insufferable, offensive, despicable, hypocritical, whiniest, pathetic character on the show.
Also here's one last thing. Your best friend, Peter Griffin MURDERED YOUR CAT. AND YOU ARE STILL BEST FRIENDS WITH HIM. But yeah no, screw Brian for being pretentious.
Shut up, Glen.
"You constantly hit on your best friends wife"
Ok well guess what Glen, so do you! You spy on her like a creep and keep pictures of her in your house. Brian had one episode where he tried to sleep with Lois. Since then he actually isn't hitting on her anymore. Oh by the way didn't you also sleep with your other friends wife?? Seems a little hypocritical...
"All you do is date bimbos"
Brian dated Jillian, who yes, is a total bimbo. But he's dated a ton of intelligent women. Literally dated a 50 year old woman two episodes before this one. He was on some bachelor show and found the woman he was into was smarter than he thought. Brian values intelligence.
"I date women for their bodies but at least I'm honest about it"
You're literally a rapist. You don't date women. You take them to your house, roofie them, and then use weird contraptions in your house to force them to give you oral sex. We've seen this when Peter and friends are at his bachelor pad house.
"What have you done to help?? I work down at the soup kitchen Brian, never seen you down there!"
Brian and Stewie literally got weed legalized in Quohog through a catchy dance number. Then de-legalized with another song and dance routine. Have YOU ever done that Quagmire? I don't think so.
"Oh wait you don't believe in Jesus Christ!"
JESUS IS LITERALLY ON THE SHOW. How the hell could Brian NOT believe in a character WHO HE AND HIS WHOLE FAMILY HAVE MET SEVERAL TIMES?!
"You failed college twice!"
Your best friend, who is legally mentally handicapped, failed the second grade and had to go back and repeat a bunch of grades, never hear you calling him out for that.
"See ya Brian! Thanks for the f***ing steak"
After Glen berates Brian in a thoroughly unpleasant and rude monologue he leaves. Seems to be a nice restaurant. He doesn't leave any money on the table. Didn't he just talk about how Brian mooches off of people and says "I'll get you later" but never pays them back. So now you're gonna just make Brian pay for everything Glen. That's ok??
Let's talk about you Quagmire. You hold women hostage against their will. You're a flat out rapist something you have admitted to on NUMEROUS occasions. You're incredibly transphobic. You're racist (which to be fair so is Brian, but even Brian notices when he's being racist and is trying to work on it.) In the previous episode you gave up your daughter because you weren't man enough to be a father despite being sixty years old and despite her being your total responsibility because you were too stupid and irresponsible to wear a condom. You then mentioned that you don't want her to go to "sand people" You tag women and treat them like objects. You told Jerome you were keeping a woman in your basement and needed to feed her. Brian was a actually trying to mend the relationship. But Quagmire proves to be the most insufferable, offensive, despicable, hypocritical, whiniest, pathetic character on the show.
Also here's one last thing. Your best friend, Peter Griffin MURDERED YOUR CAT. AND YOU ARE STILL BEST FRIENDS WITH HIM. But yeah no, screw Brian for being pretentious.
Shut up, Glen.