Review of Wired Shut

Wired Shut (2021)
2/10
There are three ways you can watch this (not that you'd want to)
6 May 2022
First thing first - the film has heavily botted ratings. All the 10/10 from bot accounts are desperate and pathetic. I don't know why filmmakers or publishers do this.

The accurate rating of this film depends on how you approach it.

Option 1: watch this as a horrendously pretentious thriller with borderline hilarious acting. Enjoyment level: around 5% (the most enjoyable thing is just how hard they are trying). 0.5/10 for the green beard and the red face.

Option 2: watch this as an experimental dark comedy. It cranks the cliche levels up to a maximum, breaking the dial. I laughed through most of the pretentiously scary moments and "plot twists". Enjoyment level: around 20%. 2/10 for making me sometimes laugh (mostly in-between the wandering around the house scenes).

Option 3: watch this as the Polite Leader from The Purge (2013) standalone backstory. I never thought this hilarious character needed his film, but here it is. It's a weird cosplay, yes, but if in a chance this was what you were looking for - you've got it. Enjoyment level: depends on how much you love the Polite Leader character from the purge.

I don't want to spend much time on the plot or characters. Briefly, the plot doesn't make any sense at all. The robbery plan doesn't work, the boyfriend is completely insane, and the daughter never saw this might be a problem. I guess she's not picky. They aren't even sure there is a safe with cash in the house, so their plan was just blind luck. The boyfriend's motivation probably wasn't the money at all. He likes to act insane and cry because of childhood trauma and domestic violence. I wonder what would happen if the father had just given the money straight away.

The film is intentionally slow, with lots of empty scenes. The beginning was exceptionally dull. There are no twists. It's a straight story.

The acting was mostly bad. The actor who played the boyfriend isn't Antony Hopkins, and his attempt at channeling wicker-man Nicolas Cage didn't work either.

The best thing about all this is how hard they are trying, starting with the "dude, check this cool shot" pretentious camerawork, followed by the acting, and solidified by the fake ratings botting.

Since I have seen this film already, I'll give you, a fellow thriller enjoyer, another option.

Option 4: don't watch this at all. Enjoyment levels: 95%. One for each minute you spend on something else instead.
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