2/10
Nowhere near as good as the original
22 August 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I really enjoyed the first Orphan film. It was well-paced, atmospheric and creepy. This one does not measure up in any way. It starts out DUMB (sorry, but that is the best descriptor), and only gets DUMBER.

To begin, you have guards who simply stand there and literally allow themselves to be beaten to a pulp or killed. I mean it - they don't even flail their arms, much less at least try to push or fight off their attacker. These same guards 15 minutes prior, were shown as tough guys who understood, and made known, just how important the utmost security truly was. You then have characters (one of them a police officer), who take around ten minutes to get into their respective vehicles and start them. Person 1 is shown at their car, then you have a scene of someone doing something else for ten to fifteen minutes if not more, then you cut back to the scene of Person 1 closing their car door and starting their vehicle. Were they standing outside enjoying the snow for all that time? Don't EVEN get me started on Esther's invisibility or her superhuman invulnerability to fire!

There is a LOT more to shake your head at, but the most egregious PARTS (yes, plural) have to be either:

1. The fact that this is supposed to be a prequel, but the doctor shows the art teacher pictures of a family Esther was with previously, who wound up DEAD. (HELLO - I'm guessing this film is not "First Kill" after all?); AND

2. The main actress no longer looks like a girl - she LOOKS like a woman, so to have this film revolve around the premise that everyone just believes she's a kid, is beyond ridiculous. They even purposefully fill the film with numerous (I mean like 20+) shots of her (or of a little girl playing her) ONLY from behind.

One of the very good parts about it was the "twist". The problem is that I think those involved in making this were so excited to GET to it, that they just slapped everything else together and focused on the big reveal, which of course, diminishes the reveal. The other, was the casting of Julia Stiles. Not that she delivered a performance which exceeded expectations, but just being in the film seemed to elevate it a bit. Sadly, not even she could save it.

All-in-all, certain films are so good that they lull you into allowing yourself to stretch the boundaries of your imagination in order to accomodate a few flaws. This film doesn't even try.
230 out of 316 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed