5/10
The trailer told me to watch it
28 August 2022
Kudos to the guy who made that, because as it turns out, The Barge People ain't that great. First thing, in the opening, they refer to the Kennet and Avon Canal. My heart sank. Oh no, this can't be British horror? Unfortunately, yes.

Overall, I will say I was entertained by this movie, and enjoyed it's unique setting, with the rented barges, but man oh man, was this movie derivative and predictable. Any twist or turn of events you can see coming. This movie, uh, borrows from at least a few other classics, most notably, to me, was the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Funny thing, if you read the trivia below, it says this filmmaker's previous movie is heavily inspired by TCM! Pretty sure I'll be skipping that one.

When was this movie supposed to have taken place? They put a yuppie in it! There were elements that were foreign to me (maybe just the result of a different culture), yet it had that stupid "retro 80's" (done by young people whose inability to ape 80's music is always evident) synthesizer score, the exact same one I've heard in countless other modern/retro horror movies over the past half-decade. I would deem this a modern trope all by itself. You want horror tropes? You've definitely got them here. My favorite: British J Mascis warns the 4 kids to turn around and go home! Every one of these types of movies has that scene. Here it is in 2018. I've seen meta horror poke fun of this trope. And I wonder what that bar maid is up to? Hmm, something's not right.

I mean, you could certainly do worse. It's got plenty of blood, a character (or -ers) you want to see die a miserable death, and rubber-masked inbred cannibalistic outcasted mutants... mutated by, well they give you a whole array of scenarios... all stolen! A solid 5, for being just dumb unoriginal fun.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed