Review of Blonde

Blonde (2022)
3/10
Needlesly fictional and uninteresting
1 October 2022
Leading up to the release of this film, I re-watched a couple of Marilyn Monroe's classics, Niagara and Some Like it Hot. I was looking forward to this as she is a fascinating person, but this film unfortunately brought out none of that.

First off, just be aware that this film is in no way a biopic. It doesn't try to be, it is a fictional film about a real person, where some events in it are inspired by things that really happened, it focuses largely on the tragedies of her private life. What I can't fathom is why. She had an interesting real life, but for some reason the filmmakers decided that instead of doing something based on that, they'll make up something about her, but unfortuntely the result is completely uncompelling and uninteresting.

Her rise to fame is shown only as a quick montage of some pin-up posters, with no further context or information. The real story in fact involved a young future president Ronald Reagan looking for ways to promote the war effort during WWII. This could have been an excellent addition to the film, but was completely ignored.

The film is made up of largely unrelated episodes of Marilyn's private life, and the filmmakers try their best to make it as depressing as possible. There's no coherent story that really connects them together, and you could probably cut out half of them with no impact on the wider film. The film is quite quiet with minimal to no music, so one can be forgiven for falling asleep during it. One depressing episode after another just leads you to never develop sympathy for the character and interest in the film, and it just feels so unnecessary.

Ana de Armas is a pretty good Marilyn, and one thing I have to give her credit for is that she actually does a pretty good accent despite not being a native English speaker. I struggle to recall any other non-native English speaker pulling off an American accent on film. Unfortunately it is just not enough, and her performance is completely overshadowed by an uninteresting story.

If you want to watch a good film about a 20th century pop culture icon, then Baz Luhrman's movie about Marilyn's contemporary Elvis Presley is far superior in every sense. That is what I think this film should have been, but it ends up being nothing.

3/10, recommend you avoid.
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