The Northman (2022)
4/10
A slow Norsery rhyme that doesn't fulfill its destiny
24 October 2022
I almost went to the cinema to watch this, but I got ill and couldn't go. After that I couldn't go because I was going on holiday. Imagine my surprise when the 12-hour flight I was stuck on had this film in its media library. I sat back with headphones in to block out the sound of screaming kids and airplane turbulence and had my very own private viewing - I noticed too that somebody further up the plane was also watching it too.

The Northman is a Viking story of revenge and redemption starring Alexander Skarsgård, Nicole Kidman, Claes Bang, Ethan Hawke, Anya Taylor-Joy, and Willem Dafoe. Written by Sjón and Robert Eggers, with Robert directing. Prince Amleth, son of King Aurvandill the War-Raven, escapes an attack on his village perpetrated by the King's own brother, Flöjnir. Living in secret the Prince, now a man has grown strong but still has revenge burning away at him. An opportunity presents itself to return home to exact that revenge, but he must be clever about it. He hides amongst slaves and works his way into Flöjnir's house staff, finding out more information along the way and finding love with one of the slaves. While posing as a good guy, Amleth is secretly butchering Flöjnir's trusted staff with a plan to work his way to the top of the hierarchy and get his shot to kill Flöjnir and free his mother who he's learned has been wived and sired another child.

Even before watching the film, I wanted to love it. I love Viking history and mythology, I've absorbed plenty of it in books, film, and TV before, and the advertisements for this made it look like an absolute epic that was a "must see". In parts this was enjoyable, it was dark, it was brooding, it was caked in blood, but it just wasn't everything I had expected. I can't fault the acting, that was decent and helped to elevate most characters. I didn't feel the same for Nicole Kidman's Queen Gudrún character though, not that the character wasn't written well but it was more just an odd fit for Kidman to be in the role. I couldn't distract myself from the previous roles I've seen her in, and she looked to well-polished for this. It felt slightly similar with Willem Dafoe, while he didn't look as polished, I couldn't help but see some of the other maniacal roles he's played. I probably would have been more convinced with less established actors in these roles instead. The dialogue that was delivered though was fairly simple, there wasn't any moment that I felt gripped by good dialogue which has to be down to the writing rather than the cast delivering the lines.

The film is dark, not just in the themes of revenge. There were some scenes that were hard to make out properly. In fairness this has to be expected in order to keep some authenticity because it's not like the Viking's had the luxury of electricity to light their homes and settlements. It would have been nicer to see what was going on, but I settled for the grunts and groans of action instead.

The pace of the film seemed to have a problem; it followed a generic pattern too. You could easy overlay the likes of "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" (1991) or "Braveheart" (1995) over this and come up with the same plot. Man wronged seeks revenge and justice. He grows strong and then comes back stronger. Unlike the other films this could easily have been though it was slow and there were times when nothing really happened. Put that together with the gloomy darkness and at times cliché dialogue and you have a little bit of a problem. I guess the counterbalance is the beautiful scenery on show - but there were times where it felt like the cinematography was more important - some scenes were forcibly made to look pretty and epic rather than the story driving things.

As I watched the film in front of me on the airplane flight, I noticed that the person who was also watching it further up the plane had fallen asleep. I endured it and was left with a feeling of disappointment at the end. So much promise, but ultimately the Northman whimpered on to its ultimate climax without really exciting me as much as I'd hoped. Since the flight I have watched the film again, you know, just in case the version I watched had been edited specifically for a family friendly flight - unfortunately it hadn't, and I didn't feel any better. There are far better Viking themes films and TV programmes that have left more of a mark - hell, give me Richard Fleischer's 1958 Kirk Douglas/Tony Curtis film any day instead.

4/10.
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