This film has something for everyone. There is beefcake (Steve Cochran, Ray Danton), cheesecake (Mamie Van Doren, Fay Spain, Irish McCalla) and fruitcake (Jackie Coogan and Sid Melton in drag).
Cochran is a detective investigating assaults on married women by someone dubbed "the aspirin kid." We know early on the culprit is Danton, who hangs out with beatniks, spouts incoherent phrases, and hates women. One of Danton's victims is Spain, who is married to Cochran. When she discovers she's pregnant (we're not sure if the father is Cochran or Danton), we get a somewhat interesting side plot, leading to a talk with McCalla and the neighborhood priest, William Schallert, who wears a baseball cap. But let's not get too far off track.
Cochran is a bit weird himself, blaming the victims as much as the perp. His partner (Coogan) shows more than a little disgust with Cochran, although he may just be reacting negatively to Cochran's caterpillar eyebrows. Cochran chews gum a lot, just to show he can act and chew gum at the same time.
Mamie shows up about halfway through the movie, as a possible victim for Danton; but Danton sends his flunky, played by Jim Mitchum, to do the job just to confuse the fuzz. Mitchum worms his way into Mamie's apartment, and she welcomes the company. In fact, she puts up about as much resistance as Joe Frazier did against George Foreman. But before Mitchum can do anything, he is interrupted by the appearance of Mamie's husband (played by Mamie's real-life hubby at the time, bandleader Ray Anthony). Nevertheless, this incident gets reported to Cochran, who spends the rest of the movie on Mamie's tail. I wonder why. Danton and Mitchum manage to snag Cochran and Mamie, and take them back to their beatnik bungalow. Mamie convinces Mitchum to help her escape. During a bizarre climax, Cochran is shot at six times by Danton, who misses every time. Then Cochran is taken down by former boxer Slapsie Maxie Rosenbloom, but manages to break free. Cochran subdues Danton while the two are underwater, Danton in scuba gear, Cochran in a dress shirt.
There is a movie in here somewhere, trying to get out. But there are just too many characters and too many useless scenes, padded out with non-actors. Dick Contino (sans accordion but avec guitar), musclebound Woo Woo Grabowski (who looks stoned), and Vampira (who recites poetry with a white mouse on her shoulder) play beatniks. Personally, I preferred Vampira sporting her three-inch waist in "Plan 9 From Outer Space." Louis Armstrong sings a few songs. British character actor Paul Cavanaugh, whose career (if he had one) peaked in the 1940s, has a small bit as Danton's father. McCalla's non-acting ability is wasted as Coogan's wife (and who is gonna believe that match-up?). She sports a short, brunette, Italian-type haircut for some unknown reason. Then again, maybe she was just trying to disguise herself. She also keeps her clothes on, which is a major disappointment. Spain is decent, but talks so softly I had to keep adjusting the volume. Danton is slimy as always, and moves about by gliding and leaping, as if he were auditioning to play Legs Diamond - oh, wait a minute. Cochran stands out, as he seems to be fighting off some inner demons, and sees himself as nutty as Danton. Mamie is Mamie, and the director had the good sense to film her in tight white outfits every chance he could get. Thank you.
The most revolting scene in the movie is when the cops go undercover to snag a lover's lane bandit. Coogan and Melton get the privilege of pretending to be dames. They are the ugliest broads in film history. We won't argue here how Melton could ever get a job on a police force. Suffice it to say, after seeing these two trying to look like women, I gave up cross-dressing, much to my wife's relief.
Cochran is a detective investigating assaults on married women by someone dubbed "the aspirin kid." We know early on the culprit is Danton, who hangs out with beatniks, spouts incoherent phrases, and hates women. One of Danton's victims is Spain, who is married to Cochran. When she discovers she's pregnant (we're not sure if the father is Cochran or Danton), we get a somewhat interesting side plot, leading to a talk with McCalla and the neighborhood priest, William Schallert, who wears a baseball cap. But let's not get too far off track.
Cochran is a bit weird himself, blaming the victims as much as the perp. His partner (Coogan) shows more than a little disgust with Cochran, although he may just be reacting negatively to Cochran's caterpillar eyebrows. Cochran chews gum a lot, just to show he can act and chew gum at the same time.
Mamie shows up about halfway through the movie, as a possible victim for Danton; but Danton sends his flunky, played by Jim Mitchum, to do the job just to confuse the fuzz. Mitchum worms his way into Mamie's apartment, and she welcomes the company. In fact, she puts up about as much resistance as Joe Frazier did against George Foreman. But before Mitchum can do anything, he is interrupted by the appearance of Mamie's husband (played by Mamie's real-life hubby at the time, bandleader Ray Anthony). Nevertheless, this incident gets reported to Cochran, who spends the rest of the movie on Mamie's tail. I wonder why. Danton and Mitchum manage to snag Cochran and Mamie, and take them back to their beatnik bungalow. Mamie convinces Mitchum to help her escape. During a bizarre climax, Cochran is shot at six times by Danton, who misses every time. Then Cochran is taken down by former boxer Slapsie Maxie Rosenbloom, but manages to break free. Cochran subdues Danton while the two are underwater, Danton in scuba gear, Cochran in a dress shirt.
There is a movie in here somewhere, trying to get out. But there are just too many characters and too many useless scenes, padded out with non-actors. Dick Contino (sans accordion but avec guitar), musclebound Woo Woo Grabowski (who looks stoned), and Vampira (who recites poetry with a white mouse on her shoulder) play beatniks. Personally, I preferred Vampira sporting her three-inch waist in "Plan 9 From Outer Space." Louis Armstrong sings a few songs. British character actor Paul Cavanaugh, whose career (if he had one) peaked in the 1940s, has a small bit as Danton's father. McCalla's non-acting ability is wasted as Coogan's wife (and who is gonna believe that match-up?). She sports a short, brunette, Italian-type haircut for some unknown reason. Then again, maybe she was just trying to disguise herself. She also keeps her clothes on, which is a major disappointment. Spain is decent, but talks so softly I had to keep adjusting the volume. Danton is slimy as always, and moves about by gliding and leaping, as if he were auditioning to play Legs Diamond - oh, wait a minute. Cochran stands out, as he seems to be fighting off some inner demons, and sees himself as nutty as Danton. Mamie is Mamie, and the director had the good sense to film her in tight white outfits every chance he could get. Thank you.
The most revolting scene in the movie is when the cops go undercover to snag a lover's lane bandit. Coogan and Melton get the privilege of pretending to be dames. They are the ugliest broads in film history. We won't argue here how Melton could ever get a job on a police force. Suffice it to say, after seeing these two trying to look like women, I gave up cross-dressing, much to my wife's relief.