I didn't really know what to expect going into this movie. My introduction to Joe Begos was when I watched Bliss a couple years ago, which I loved. A wonderful blend of both arthouse and grindhouse with great characters and an interesting take on the age-old myth of the vampire with characters who aren't just one-dimensional and disposable, and some beautiful neon lighting that clashes with the grimy, filthy set pieces.
Christmas Bloody Christmas, on the other hand, was just... garbage. I didn't mind the frequent f-bombs at first (I am no prude, in fact, I'm quite profane in my personal life) and I loved the metal references, but half an hour in, I'm pretty sure the constant swearing literally gave me a headache. I wasn't keeping count, but I get the feeling that Begos broke some sort of record within those first thirty minutes. Even Rob Zombie occasionally knows when to draw the line. Hell, even Bliss wasn't as excessive (though if it was, I didn't notice, because it made up for it in plenty other ways), and was at least believable in its frequent profanity usage.
Though really, the overuse of the f-bomb is only a symptom of a larger problem, and that's that the dialogue was almost nonstop. It's really hard to find a place in the movie where you can pause because everyone is CONSTANTLY TALKING, and it's rarely ever about anything that's in any way meaningful to the plot. Just people talking. And talking. And talking. Obviously Begos intended to riff on Quentin Tarantino and Kevin Smith with their dialogue-heavy scripts, but these characters lack the charm and likability of, say, Samuel L. Jackson or Jeff Anderson. Speaking of the people in this cinematic travesty...
The characters were idiots. All of them. Even and ESPECIALLY Tori, our insufferable heroine and purveyor of the majority of the movie's f-bombs. When her and Robbie tried to warn people about the killer robotic Santa, they did the most half-assed job at it that it's no wonder they kept getting ignored. By the time she's the only person of the slightest importance left alive in the movie, she STILL continues to make stupid decisions when she has ample opportunity to finish "Santa" off. Guess Begos just wanted to cram in as many Terminator homages in the climax as he could. Can't say I'm impressed by the effort.
The buildups to the first few death scenes were horribly put together. I'm by no means a filmmaker or an expert myself, but I know that you don't create tension by constantly shifting the focus between the main characters going about their business and the killer stalking the side characters who are meant to serve as an appetizer if anything. Perhaps Begos was trying to be experimental and diverge from typical slasher formulas. If that's the case, he didn't do a good job pulling it off.
A few good things I can say about the movie are the aforementioned metal references (but as a recovering metalhead, overuse of such references can be cringeworthy, i.e. Deathgasm), the gore was decent and the mechanical movements of the actor who played "Santa" were convincing. That's really about all I can say I liked about it. Not even the neon aesthetic that Begos carried over from Bliss really did it for me this time around.
Don't waste your time with this movie. I've seen some bad, BAD stuff that didn't have any levity - accidental or otherwise - or redeeming qualities but I can almost forgive those, especially when it was ultra low or no budget. But not this. This might be a contender for the worst movie I've ever seen, especially knowing that Begos is not the hack that Christmas Bloody Christmas might make him appear to be for a first-time viewer. If you really want to see a movie about a nearly indestructible robot on Christmas Eve (I know that's a very specific superlative), you're better off watching Hardware.
Christmas Bloody Christmas, on the other hand, was just... garbage. I didn't mind the frequent f-bombs at first (I am no prude, in fact, I'm quite profane in my personal life) and I loved the metal references, but half an hour in, I'm pretty sure the constant swearing literally gave me a headache. I wasn't keeping count, but I get the feeling that Begos broke some sort of record within those first thirty minutes. Even Rob Zombie occasionally knows when to draw the line. Hell, even Bliss wasn't as excessive (though if it was, I didn't notice, because it made up for it in plenty other ways), and was at least believable in its frequent profanity usage.
Though really, the overuse of the f-bomb is only a symptom of a larger problem, and that's that the dialogue was almost nonstop. It's really hard to find a place in the movie where you can pause because everyone is CONSTANTLY TALKING, and it's rarely ever about anything that's in any way meaningful to the plot. Just people talking. And talking. And talking. Obviously Begos intended to riff on Quentin Tarantino and Kevin Smith with their dialogue-heavy scripts, but these characters lack the charm and likability of, say, Samuel L. Jackson or Jeff Anderson. Speaking of the people in this cinematic travesty...
The characters were idiots. All of them. Even and ESPECIALLY Tori, our insufferable heroine and purveyor of the majority of the movie's f-bombs. When her and Robbie tried to warn people about the killer robotic Santa, they did the most half-assed job at it that it's no wonder they kept getting ignored. By the time she's the only person of the slightest importance left alive in the movie, she STILL continues to make stupid decisions when she has ample opportunity to finish "Santa" off. Guess Begos just wanted to cram in as many Terminator homages in the climax as he could. Can't say I'm impressed by the effort.
The buildups to the first few death scenes were horribly put together. I'm by no means a filmmaker or an expert myself, but I know that you don't create tension by constantly shifting the focus between the main characters going about their business and the killer stalking the side characters who are meant to serve as an appetizer if anything. Perhaps Begos was trying to be experimental and diverge from typical slasher formulas. If that's the case, he didn't do a good job pulling it off.
A few good things I can say about the movie are the aforementioned metal references (but as a recovering metalhead, overuse of such references can be cringeworthy, i.e. Deathgasm), the gore was decent and the mechanical movements of the actor who played "Santa" were convincing. That's really about all I can say I liked about it. Not even the neon aesthetic that Begos carried over from Bliss really did it for me this time around.
Don't waste your time with this movie. I've seen some bad, BAD stuff that didn't have any levity - accidental or otherwise - or redeeming qualities but I can almost forgive those, especially when it was ultra low or no budget. But not this. This might be a contender for the worst movie I've ever seen, especially knowing that Begos is not the hack that Christmas Bloody Christmas might make him appear to be for a first-time viewer. If you really want to see a movie about a nearly indestructible robot on Christmas Eve (I know that's a very specific superlative), you're better off watching Hardware.