Review of Shao Lin jiang shi

The movie starts with a kung fu priest and his two disciples escorting some hopping vampires back to their home village for burial. Then goofy things start happening. Lots and lots of goofy things. They stop at an inn for the night which happens to be haunted and crawling with zombies. It's not connected with what they are doing. There are just zombies there because reasons. Apparently, this whole area is just crawling with zombies. His rival, emo hair guy and his hot assistant show up to show up the priest or something. The priest's kid disciple is forced to swallow an egg which sets up a nonsensical sideplot that runs throughout the movie and has nothing to do with anything. It's also the starts of a pointless romance subplot that goes nowhere. The priest delivers the hopping vampires to their home village and buries them around 1/3rd of the way through. After that, the movie loses its tenuous grip on the plot. There's a chess game with kung fu kids for some reason. At one point, the priest does some sort of scrying spell which causes the camera to zoom into outer space. Then the Sun explodes. I don't know what that was about. There's a boss zombie. The synopsis says he is the vampire king and the priest and emo guy awaken him somehow but I would have never gotten that from the movie. The movie doesn't have an ending. It just freezes in the middle of a scene and a narrator tells the audience what happens next. There is a montage of cool looking stuff that wasn't in the movie. Maybe that's the 5 elements formation the blurb mentioned?

There's enough kung fu silliness in this to make it somewhat entertaining including the world's most overly elaborate way of sticking 3 sticks of incense into the ground. It's just really disjointed and none of it really goes anywhere. It doesn't have an ending.