Blades (1988)
5/10
The PGA Tour was never like this!
9 July 2023
Starring a bunch of unknowns, this Eighties horror-comedy is pure cheese, but it entertains for the entire runtime. The premise is basic, if not bonkers, with a possessed old lawnmower slicing its way through Tall Grass Country Club. The mayhem couldn't have come at a more inopportune time, for the course is set to host a nationally televised golf tournament.

The club's manager, Mr. Osgood (Bill Towner) downplays the carnage, determined to kick off the tournament no matter what. New golf pro, Roy Kent (Robert North) has his hands full with his new job, trying to keep the golfers safe from a murderous mower while dodging the advances of Mr. Osgood's wife Beatrice (Holly Stevenson) and winning over his new assistant Kelly (Victoria Scott) who had been promised his position. But only one person can help him send the devil's lawnmower to the eternal junkyard, the course's former greenskeeper, Deke Slade (Jeremy Whelan).

STORY $$$: You won't see anything like this! The concept of machines taking on a life of their own and terrorizing their handlers is nothing new, but watching a young caddy, in the midst of play, searching for a golf ball in the brush, and thus getting bloodily dispatched by a Club Cadet is wild stuff. The final battle between man and machine is inventive.

ACTING $$: This isn't quite amateur hour but it's pretty close. Whelan gives the best performance as the no nonsense ex-employee of Tall Grass and Scott gives a quality performance as the ambitious Kelly Lang. The lead, Robert North, however is terribly wooden, but it doesn't really hamper the film that much. This is his only acting credit as he did more production work during his film career than acting.

SEX/NUDITT: none.
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