2/10
A farce masquerading as contemporary gothic horror
6 November 2023
The only redeeming qualities of this show are the acting and cinematography. Greenwood, McDonnell, Gugino and Hamill turn in very good performances. The cinematography is also topnotch and would be great on big sceens and IMAX.

The rest of it is pure Hollywood contempt for half or more of the potential audience. At least half of those who watch it through to the colloquy between Greenwood's Roderick and McDonnell's Madeline will have forced themselves to do so, if just to see if there's anything that makes getting to that scene worthwhile. They'll only be disappointed but hey, Greenwood and McDonnell acted it well. All of the rest of it is vintage 1980's jump startling hack and slash with all of the creativity of Jason Part 7683.

The screenplay is what you'd expect if Michael Moore invited Stephen King and Bernie Sanders over for cocktails, party favors, a reading of an anthology of Edgar Allen Poe and an outline of a miniseries to be released just before Halloween 2023. The most terrifying thing here is that those three actually saw the project through. If Siskell had had three thumbs they'd all be down and angry.
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