The Monster's Christmas (1981 TV Movie)
6/10
The Monsters!
21 December 2023
Warning: Spoilers
What are the holidays like in New Zealand? Maybe this movie will tell us all we need to know.

A little girl reads The Monster's Christmas to her teddy bear before she hears Santa. Except that it's not him. It's one of the monsters from her book and he needs her help to get the voices of his friends back so that they can all sing Christmas carols again, as an evil witch was jealous of their singing and has stolen their voices.

Every monster in this is awesome looking, as is the witch, who has turned her hair into a hat and also wears a t-shirt that says WITCHES RULE. Yes, they do. So does the weird synth by Dave Fraser, who played on the soundtrack of The Quiet Earth and Battletruck.

Director Yvonne Mackay has mainly worked in New Zealand TV. Writer Burton Silver also made the book Why Paint Cats and was the creator of New Zealand's longest-running published cartoon series Bogor.

My words won't tell you how amazingly wild and frightening this movie for children is. I mean, there are monsters everywhere on the level of Yokoi Monsters but they're also singing and dancing. At the end, they all get together to sing "Silent Night" and the idea that somewhere out there there's a savior monster that died for them - or did Jesus die for all of us - is something I'd love to see a movie all about. I can only imagine that this movie warped every child from New Zealand - the country that gave us Flight of the Conchords, Dead Alive and The Bushwhackers - whenever the season came around again. "Look kids, it's the man dressed as a bat walking backward! It won't be long until Santa is here!"
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