Review of Burial

Reacher: Burial (2023)
Season 2, Episode 5
3/10
Getting worse
16 January 2024
Warning: Spoilers
This episode was really bad, the worst of the season so far. Emphasis on the "so far" part, because after seeing this one, I wouldn't be surprised if the season got even worse. This episode is pretty much nothing but plot holes and terrible writing.

For one, the characters are now literally explaining their actions to the viewers. It is as if the writers had just about enough brain to realize how bad their writing was, so they tried to make the characters explain away the plot holes to the viewers, in the kind of "see, it could actually happen because of this" way. And so we get the power girls casually waltzing into a factory that makes top secret super weapons and then telling each other (but actually tell the viewers) that you can "get in anywhere if you act like you belong and carry a clipboard". That is the actual quote, that is how ridiculously terrible the writing is. Nobody checks their credentials and the manager just gives them all the information they want. Kind of makes you wonder why the bad guys went through all the trouble of stealing the rockets, when one of them could just get a clipboard, walk into the factory and demand that they give them to him.

The power girls then just run into the truck with the rocket (because if you go into a random direction you are bound to find it, because "they couldn't have gone far"). And the hijackers are there. A gunfight ensues, during which the power girls again explain the viewers how the hijackers knew that they are here to stop them. The bad guys fire about a thousand bullets into the power girls' car, but not only are they miraculously unhurt, they also manage to teleport from the front seats into the trunk while driving the car, and thus they manage to get the jump on two of the bad guys and kill them. They then start slowly walking towards the third baddie, who, instead of shooting them point blank, decides for some reason to run away with no cover while shooting his gun behind his back and, of course, gets killed.

Meanwhile, Reacher goes to Homeland security, where the agents give him all the information he needs about their, presumably confidential, investigation, because his brother used to work there. You know, just like it would happen in real life. Then they just shake their heads amusedly when he tells them that he will kill everybody. Oh, that's classic Reacher. Go on, kill everybody, you giant rascal.

We get a flashback that shows why Reacher is so reluctant to believe that Swan is dirty. Back in the army, Swan saved his life by literally jumping in front of the bullet meant for Reacher, and the scene is exactly as cringe as it sounds. Also, what is with the delivery guy in that scene? Was he supposed to be incredibly stupid, like not allowed to use scissors stupid, or was he trying to tip off the drug dealers? The scene is neither here nor there, and all the worse for it.

Then there is the funeral part, which wastes the viewers' time first with more pointless dialogue and failed fabricated tension between Reacher and the bald cop, and then with one of the cinematography's worst shootouts. The two worst assassins in the world try to kill Reacher and his team using precision rifles and manage not only to miss them with every bullet, but also to miss every single one of the many people that stand all around them. Reacher and his team return fire. "Handguns are useless from this distance", Neagley explains the viewers, and then immediately the whole team starts firing those same handguns from that very same distance. They manage to get a bit closer, but "It's not enough", Neagly says. However, Reacher tells her "You can do it! You're a great shot!", thus explaining to the viewers that what is about to happen is, in fact, really, totally, completely possible. And so, while the assassins who use high powered scoped rifles cannot hit anybody, Neagley, who uses a handgun that is useless from that distance, scores a perfect head shot on one of the baddies. The other one decides that he wants nothing to do with that kind of plot armor and runs away, thus starting a car chase in which Reacher and the cop drive a car together; literally together, they both turn the wheel and press the pedals at the same time, thus making the car go twice as good, which is common knowledge.

The ending sees the team force the captured assassin to go to the meeting point with his employer (who happens to be Swan, oh the shock!) and do recon for them because, I guess, they didn't have time to make another pipe bomb and just chuck it into the house, like they did a few episodes back, and because it seems completely plausible that Swan will be happy that the assassin messed up his job and the meeting will not be a deadly trap at all.
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