Smarty (1934)
4/10
This One is a Head Scratcher
13 April 2024
Warning: Spoilers
This movie was just strange; and not in a good way.

Vicki (Joan Blondell) was married to Tony Wallace (Warren William). They seemed to be in complete bliss. It was a fairly normal looking relationship for two people that are fond of each other. Then, within the first five minutes, Vicki playfully called Tony "diced carrots" during a bridge game, which drove him into a rage, then he flipped the card table over and slapped her.

It was bizarre.

And if that wasn't bizarre enough, Vicki went on behaving in a cheery, jubilant manner like some sort of Stepford wife, yet she insisted on a divorce. Her mood truly defied the nature of what had occurred and what she was requesting. She was slapped and she wanted a divorce, but she looked and behaved like she was in the best of moods-- as if she was totally unaffected by the matter. She still had a smile plastered on her face and not the least bit of angst.

Her friend Anita (Claire Dodd) only added to the weirdness of this movie. After the slap she had a sly grin on her face like she just saw something she wasn't supposed to and she was happy to be a witness. Even when Anita informed Tony's neighbor George (Frank McHugh) she was smiling ear to ear as if she was excited by it all. Then, later she said, "A good sock in the eye is something every woman needs... at least once in her life."

WHAT!?

What am I watching??? What is going on??? Is this a sci-fi and all of these events are occurring on another planet? Are Vicki and Anita even human? Are they some sort of robots unable to properly emote?

Moving forward.

Vicki got her divorce then immediately married her lawyer Vernon Thorpe (Edward Everett Horton). She went on with her life as if she'd never experience love, loss, or any mature feelings. Later, Vicki enthusiastically invited Tony (her ex) over to the house for a dinner party. To call it poor taste is putting it mildly. When Tony got there she was wearing a backless dress that her husband (Vernon) forbade her to purchase, and she was throwing herself all over Tony.

Her next move was to provoke Vernon to hit her, which he did. She behaved like such an impudent child Vernon lost himself and slapped her. She then used that as grounds to run right back to Tony. Once she was back at Tony's and Vernon had given up his quest to win her back, she began provoking Tony! He then ripped off her dress and slapped her... AND SHE LIKED IT! It was like some kinky role playing stuff. The last words spoken in the movie were: "Tony dear. Hit me again."

The whole affair was queer.

This was by far the worst role I've ever seen Joan Blondell in. I normally like her in everything I see her in, but this was just lousy. I wonder if it was a contractual obligation or a money issue.

And what were the writers thinking, or the director for that matter? Were they high at the time? I know this is a comedy, but there was no rhyme or reason to it. Honestly, this movie just left me scratching my head.

Free on Odnoklassniki.
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