2/10
Store-Brand Star Wars
22 April 2024
Recently, my wife and I have begun shopping at a different grocery store. While it has typically been a pleasant experience, I decided to try their store-brand version of Little Debbie's Cosmic Brownies. To my dismay, I was dissatisfied with the generic alternative and found myself wishing I had spent my time getting Cosmic Brownies instead. Unfortunately, I find myself facing an ironically similar disappointment today.

Rebel Moon- Part Two: The Scargiver is director Zack Snyder's second installment in his Netflix Original space opera. Despite Part One: A Child of Fire premiering in December 2023 to unfavorable reviews, Snyder and Netflix were already well underway on Part Two. While originally intending to create a trilogy of films, Snyder found it difficult to fit his vision in a typical 2 ½-3hr runtime (an issue he had previously suffered from while directing DC Comic's Justice League) and decided to split each film into two parts. Now, at the start of a 6-part saga, the Rebel Moon universe attempts to cement itself as a sci-fi epic for the ages.

Picking up shortly after the ending of Part One, we see our ragtag team of heroes regroup on Kora's (Sofia Boutella) adopted home world, the moon of Veldt. The group warns the locals of an impending attack from the Imperium, an unfortunate aftermath of their previous encounter. With only 5 days to prepare for the invasion, the team must work alongside the villagers to protect their town or die trying.

Rebel Moon- Part Two is unforgivably boring. Suffering from the sins of its predecessor, Part Two cannot handle its 2-hour runtime. While Part One was entirely set-up, the sequel stretches a finale into a full 2-hour film. Unbearably tedious, scenes drag on to questionable lengths, feeling as if there was little trimming done in an attempt to fluff the films runtime as much as possible. When that failed, an egregious amount of slow-motion was unnecessarily shoehorned into every scene. Matching Part One, there are about 45 minutes worth of slow-motion, which, if they had been cut, could have easily made this film more enjoyable. Rebel Moon- Part One & Two are not strong enough to stand on their own and would have greatly benefitted from being edited down into one complete film.

Basing his vision off the Star Wars universe, Zack Snyder had stripped the world of any iconic and recognizable traits but failed to replace those with any of his own original or interesting ideas. Though you can clearly see where the inspiration came from, the lack of creativity holds the series back from forming a connection with its audience. Rebel Moon introduces characters, planets, and concepts that are truly difficult to remember or distinguish, as the entire film feels as if it is just placeholder for actual fully fleshed out ideas. Boiling Star Wars down to its most generic aspects, Rebel Moon is left feeling like a movie you would see playing within another movie.

While the actors do their best to salvage the situation, they are held back by elementary-level dialogue and a paper-thin script. Suffering from telling, not showing, the film continually insists upon stating exactly how the audience should perceive each character, although we have never seen any of them portrayed to have those qualities. After two films and 4 1/2 hours, none of the characters stand out, with nearly all of them being completely forgettable if they aren't present on screen.

Contrary to this example, Zack Snyder truly is a talented director, but he desperately needs the guidance of a gifted writer. While he has had many successes in the past (300, Watchmen, Man of Steel) he had always worked closely with the respective writers to achieve that success. On his own, Snyder hasn't quite mastered the balance and the result is films like Rebel Moon. I do sincerely hope he continues making movies, but I hope he sees these flaws and learns from them before attempting something similar to this project.

The world of Rebel Moon was hindered before it began. Clinging to the idea of creating a Star Wars film, Zack Snyder held himself back from standing out and truly creating something original. Akin to a store-brand alternative to your favorite snack, Rebel Moon- Part Two: The Scargiver delivers a bland and unappealing attempt at copying an icon.
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