Review of Atlas

Atlas (2024)
3/10
barely watchable
24 May 2024
Greetings again from the darkness. My goal is to give every movie a fair shake, and to seek out the best elements even when a film disappoints. I don't recall a time when this goal has been more difficult to achieve than after watching this latest from director Brad Peyton (San Andreas, 2015) and co-writers Leo Sardarian ("StartUp"), Aron Eli Coleite ("Locke & Key").

Jennifer Lopez stars as Atlas Shepherd, a brilliant government analyst and expert on AI, especially on Harlan (Simu Liu, BARBIE), ominously deemed the world's first AI terrorist. We know Atlas is smart because she has a chess winning streak against the computer and she wears black frame eyeglasses. After an opening which features Earth in peril, we flash forward 28 years, where it's evolved into "good AI" versus "evil AI". Don't worry, Atlas is on the side of good, despite her constantly frazzled state (with perfect hair) and the personal (emotional) baggage she carries with her.

After years of searching, Atlas discovers the location for Harlan, and General Boothe (Mark Strong, character actor extraordinaire) forms a team led by Colonel Elias Banks (Sterling K Brown, AMERICAN FICTION, 2023) to capture Harlan so his CPU can be studied. Of course, the mission doesn't go as planned and by the end, I was wondering which racked up the most points: explosions or Ms. Lopez's cringy acting moments. Terrible punchlines regarding a running coffee gag placed third in the competition. Since I admittedly search for positives in every movie, let's go with Simu Liu's unusual blue-eyed effect, the tight pants on Agent Atlas, and giant robotics that look like the one that went rogue in ROBOCOP (37 years ago). Apologies, but that's the best I can do for this one, other than to say we have an early Razzie frontrunner.

On Netflix beginning May 24, 2024.
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