The grocer was known in the village as "Simple Simon," and many were the tricks played upon him. The "humorists" had lots of fun, but it never struck them that they were making Simon a wealthy man. A theatrical talent manager would have figured out that , as the grocery store supplied the only vaudeville entertainment in its community, its proprietor naturally did the business. Simon realized this, for he was more or less of a philosopher. One individual who picked on the grocer was a young college graduate who had won honors as a baseball pitcher. His jests were rather above the average in strenuousness, and the grocer soon grew to dislike him, especially when he found cats in the sugar bin and dogs sleeping in ground coffee. But the college boy kept on with his "jokes" and was as happy as a child. There was excitement in the village one day when a beautiful maiden appeared. She explained that she intended to start a class in penmanship and "hoped that the gentlemen would join." She was so pretty that they did with great enthusiasm. And just as naturally they all fell in love with her. The college boy seemed to have the inside track, but Simon, the simple grocer, was the dark horse who won the prize. "Teacher" gave a lawn party, her pupils being the guests, and explained to them that every man there had proposed to her. She had decided, however, that the man she married must be her partner as well as her husband. Therefore, she said they could submit specimens of their handwriting, and the best hand would win. This looked like an easy victory for the college boy, because he had the best handwriting in town, but he had reckoned without Simon, for when the grocer submitted his offering, teacher threw herself in his arms. "I was never so thrilled by handwriting in my life," she explained to her disappointed suitors. For what Simon wrote was a check "payable to my wife on her wedding day" for $10,000. Moral: Kind words are more than coronets, but certified checks beat hot air effusions, no matter how neatly they are written.