User Reviews

The premise of this movie is that this is almost a documentary, providing keen incite through an all-knowing narrator. In reality however, the show is anything but realistic...

In the beginning we are introduced to the women, who dance but "know not why." The wise old woman tells them that they dance because they need men. Quick to act, the women create a hunting party and go marching through the forest looking for men. Now, we have to give these women credit. They were very strategic. They attack a group of men with their long-ranged slingshots, using a river as a barrier. The men foolishly continue to approach, despite being pummeled with stones. Then the women charge with clubs to finish off the men, and beat them into submission. The entire scene was hilarious! Seriously. It was quite refreshing to see the men literally get the "short end of the stick". Side-note, throughout the movie, the women have perfectly styled 50's hair. The men are largely clean-shaven.

The women march of with their captives, as one injured man escapes. This man will become one of the worst movie heroes I have ever seen. He scurries back to his tribe, and relates what happens to the historian, who promptly draws cave paintings depicting women with devil horns! He then decides that he will go on a lone mission to free his friends. Even though he's clearly seen that this pack of women defeated a half-dozen men! But no, no, he will be the savior. After running around, getting chased by an elephant, and accidentally discovering fire, this "hero" finds the women's territory. A couple women naturally see him gallivanting through their forest, and set a trap. One conveniently kneels down in the middle of the path "re-tying" her sandal. The man sees her, and tries to sneak up behind her. And then the other women jump out of the trees and start beating him up with clubs! It was fantastic. This "hero" truly needed something to wake him up. He's awful. For some reason though, the brunette leader of the tribe takes a liking to him. But beware! The buck-toothed blonde also likes this man. And so begins the first female cat-fight. Don't worry, the buck-toothed blonde gets beaten into submission. At this point, the movie descends into chaos. A pterodactyl flies in and attacks. This creature looked ridiculous. I mean truly, this couldn't be taken seriously. But no, the brunette leader of the group, who clearly has been fairly intelligent up to this point, falls down. "Help, help, I've fallen and I can't get up!" Geez. "Luckily", the men come in with torches and drive the pterodactyl away. And capture the women. And proceed to march them back to their own camp. Yay...not. This truly is the turning point of the whole film. I really liked this female leader up to this point. But after her humiliating defeat, things go down-hill for her characterization.

At this point, an evil giant (who had killed the brunette leader's mother) shows up. Chases them into a cave. Yet the men are able to defeat him with fire, gaining the respect and adoration of the women. Yuck. Somehow, they come to the decision that they'll form their own tribe. And so the old wise woman begins the marriage ceremonies, while the narrator solemnly declares. "And so then, as is today, the battle of the sexes was determined not through the club, but through romance!" How could this intelligent brunette fall in love with this horrible, thick-headed man! Nearly everything he accomplishes is done by accident, from fire to cooked meat. Ugh. What can you say? It's the 50's. Oops, I mean, prehistoric times.

Some people will love this movie, and some will hate it. The fact of the matter is, it's simply a film that cannot be taken seriously. If you take it how it is, as a perfectly ridiculous B-movie, you will find this movie hilarious. Others will scoff at the level of absurdity and want to chuck it out the window. I myself loved the movie for the huge amount of cheesiness. The film had me laughing 90% of the time. How you take this movie will depend on how much suspension of disbelief you can handle. If you're willing to sit back and watch the hilarity unfold, you'll enjoy this movie. If that's not you, move on and pick a more serious film.

Tigri and her gal pals (realisticly portrayed in lipstick, soft perms and miniskirts) pelt Engor and his buds with nerf rocks and take them hostage. The epic drama that follows is too intricate and ingenious to describe by mere words, but you can't miss:

The most feared beast in the jungle, Grotty (or somesuch), a big, tall, ugly...uh...guy.

The invention of fire by whacking two entirely not-flintlike rocks together.

Chick fight!

Pink Dragon!

Filmed in resplendent Drab-O-Vision with a flawless Nabokovian voice-over that never, oh no never, gets tiring in it's mesmerizing wit and turns of phrase.

Take your chances and miss this one it you must. But you won't die happy.

Gregg G. Tallas started his career working with Fritz Lang, which does not explain how his career took him to some crazy places, such as Espionage in Tangiers, Assignment Skybolt and the movie he'd make 12 years later, Cataclysm, which is, of course, "The Case of Claire Hansen" in Night Train to Terror.

So yeah. He made this bit of insanity too, which stars 1950's tabloid star Laurette Luez, who was also in D.O.A. She's Tigri in this film, one of the Amazons who hate all men. That said, they still need to kidnap them and use them to get pregnant, but otherwise, they hate the gender.

You know who wins them over? Engor.

He's played by Allan Nixon, speaking of tabloid stars. He became an informant for Confidential magazine after years of being out of control, getting arrested for drunk driving and getting in fights. And, well, pure crazy stuff. That's because in 1958, he got in a heck of a battle with his third wife Velda May Paulsen after she visited her ex-boyfriend Burt Lancaster in the hospital. He hit her, she stabbed him with the kitchen knives he gave her for Christmas. He didn't press charges, they got back together and she died before the year was over because of burns she suffered in an explosion. Nixon - a Ron Ormond star - would eventually become a writer under his own name and using the pen names Nick Allen and Don Romano for the Shaft paperbacks.

Engor is such a man here that not only does he figure out fire - screw you Prometheus - he also kills a big lizard. After that, all the ladies - who include Joan Shawlee from The Apartment and Brian Keith's life and the vamp in Singin' In the Rain Judy Landon - decide that it's time to get married.

There's also a commentator who says inane things like, "And Engor called it Firee, which was his word for Fire." He's really the best thing in this whole movie.

A tribe of cavewomen gets horny, seeks men for procreation. Under the guidance of Tigri (Laurette Luez), they kidnap some men from a neighboring tribe and bring them to the women's village to work as slaves and to impregnate those of child-bearing age. But Engor (Allan Nixon) escapes his captors and flees to the jungle. Along the way, he discovers fire. Hey, these things happen, OK? Besides, it comes in handy later, when the women's village is attacked by what we're told is a dragon but looks more like a flying rubber chicken. Engor successfully fends off the monster with his torch, which somehow turns the tables in the women's village. After fifteen years of independence, they're suddenly content to wait on the men hand and foot. What would Gloria Steinem say?

As usually occurs in these films, the ladies look like they've just been to the beauty salon. Though it takes place eons ago, the cavewomen all have Truman-era hair-dos. Plus, they each have a mouthful of gleaming white teeth. And there's not a body hair to be seen on either sex.

In an early scene, Engor fights off what is clearly a stuffed panther. He later eludes an elephant whose footage is obviously sped up. Engor and his men also bring down a giant who has been terrorizing the women for years. Though played by an actual circus giant, Guadi never comes across as being especially tall--or strong, as giants are supposed to be.

The story is told by a narrator through lines like, "Strangely enough, the swan dive was invented before the swan." Perhaps they didn't call it the swan dive yet? That would be my guess.

I don't understand why some folks protest too much over a video that probably set them back $1.00. In my opinion, if you spend that little, expect the worst, and the rest may reveal a hidden treasure of trinkets and baubles. This movie has a lot of appeal to a bad movie fetishist. I thought the narrator carried plenty of subtle humor (his name should be in the main credits, not hidden with the best boy & gaffer). Also, watch the movie with a Greek friend, who will translate most of the dialog, from Kala (good), Ella (come), and Gamos (mate). As for the gals (va-voom) and plots, they leave those el-cheapo Asylum feminists and stories for dust. They didn't have to rely of questionable graphics to pad out a plot back then. Now to get to the story .... Well, read the other reviews.

While watching, my mind constantly came back to the question of what would possess someone to make a film like this. Sure, the story's opening hints of romance when the world was young, but then can't decide if it was ten or a hundred thousand years ago. Only one thing is certain with a film like this, with all the scantily clad women center stage, it's only a matter of time before the obligatory cat fight. That takes place about midway through, but you'll have to endure endless plodding narration at both ends before calling it a day.

There are some interesting historical breakthroughs on display though. The male hero Engor (Allan Nixon) discovers fire, while his buddy Kama invents the barbecue, even if by accident. As goofy as it all looks, if you think about it, that very first piece of cooked meat had to get a start somewhere, so this is just as good a rationalization as any. Come to think of it, if the male tribe had a streak of cannibalism, old Guadi might have been on the menu when he became a crispy critter - yikes!

I'd be curious to find out how close this movie was to being the first done in color. Quite a few scenes look natural enough, but you'll have to muddle through a murky opening suggesting a soft porn ritual dance by the man-less women tribe. Then there are scenes that actually look like they're in black and white.

For fans of family trees, the Smith and Jones equivalent of the dinosaur era must have been Engor. That was also the name of the main male tribesman in the 1958 flick, "Wild Women of Wongo". That film also followed the exploits of love starved prehistoric women who set out to enslave male captives for the purpose of, well you know. Watching that film might also lead you to the same query as posited earlier, but at least WWoW had a campy flavor and didn't take itself as seriously as this one. Here however, the women used bolos and clubs to beat on the cave boys, so score one for Tigri and the girls. Nice outfits too!