Hogan's Heroes (1965–1971)
Werner Klemperer: Col. Klink, Col. Wilhelm Klink
Photos
Quotes
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[Newkirk and Carter are found near the camp fence]
Colonel Klink : Schultz, into the cooler they go. Throw away the key.
Carter : Don't we get a trial or anything?
Colonel Klink : This is Germany. Although I do appreciate your sense of humor.
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Schultz : [Klink is in prison awaiting a possible execution] I have some good news and bad news.
Col. Wilhelm Klink : This time tell me the good news first.
Schultz : You are going to be executed in the morning.
Col. Wilhelm Klink : Then what's the bad news?
Schultz : They aren't giving you a blindfold.
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Colonel Klink : [runs to the window and shouts outside] Schultz! Close the gates! The War is back on!
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Colonel Klink : Those prisoners will be released over my dead body!
Hogan : It's a deal!
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[repeated line]
Col. Wilhelm Klink : [on telephone] What was that?
[pause]
Col. Wilhelm Klink : [muttering and weakly saluting] Oh yes, heil Hitler.
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Colonel Klink : [repeated line]
Colonel Klink : No prisoner has ever escaped from Stalag 13!
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[Hogan pretends to have passed out from drinking]
Colonel Klink : [to Burkhalter] ... Disgraceful. Can't hold their liquor. Can't finish wars they start.
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Colonel Klink : When I looked out the window I thought I saw a chimpanzee raking in the garden.
Hogan : Well if it makes you feel any better, sir, there IS a chimpanzee raking in the garden.
Colonel Klink : WHAT?
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[repeated line]
Colonel Klink : Dis-missed!
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Col. Wilhelm Klink : [annoyed] Colonel Hogan, I'm very busy this morning - dispatches from Berlin. What is it?
Col. Robert E. Hogan : I want to register a complaint on behalf of my men.
Col. Wilhelm Klink : [sarcastically] Really? A complaint. Not sufficient entertainment, perhaps.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : No, you're funny enough.
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Colonel Klink : [trying to demoralize Hogan after air-raid] ... No damage was done and your bombers suffered severe losses at the hands of our illustrious Luftwaffe.
Schultz : [walking in to the office introducing a Captain] Herr Kommandant, this is Captain Müller. He barely escaped the terrible raid!
Colonel Klink : That raid was a complete failure!
Schultz : No, Herr Kommandant! They knocked the stuffing out of the Messerschmitt factory and got away from the Luftwaffe!
Hogan : Illustrious Luftwaffe.
Schultz : Illustrious Luft...
Colonel Klink : Shultz!
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[in an argument with a captain about safehousing a truck and cargo]
Colonel Klink : I'm afraid I cannot accommodate you, Captain. Please take your truck and its cargo some other place.
Captain : I have orders.
[Hands over papers with orders to Klink]
Colonel Klink : The only orders that I am interested in are my own orders.
[Klink in a casual tone starts reading to himself the captain's orders paper]
Colonel Klink : "All ranks are ordered to extend complete cooperation, assist without question. Ahmmm. Failure... punishment execution by firing squad. Signed General Jodl for the Führer."
[energetically and enthusiastically gets up off his chair and shakes the captain's hand]
Colonel Klink : Glad to have you with us, Captain.
