The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Poster

(1975)

Peter Sellers: Insp. Jacques Clouseau

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Peter Sellers, Claire Davenport, and Catherine Schell in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers and John Bluthal in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers, Christopher Plummer, Peter Arne, and Catherine Schell in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers and Catherine Schell in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers, Christopher Plummer, and Catherine Schell in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers, Christopher Plummer, Peter Arne, and Catherine Schell in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers, Christopher Plummer, Peter Arne, and Catherine Schell in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers and Burt Kwouk in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers and Burt Kwouk in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers and Catherine Schell in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers and Catherine Schell in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers and Claire Davenport in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers, Claire Davenport, Mike Grady, and Catherine Schell in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers and Catherine Schell in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Peter Sellers and Mike Grady in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) 24 more photos

Quotes 

  • Clouseau : [on the phone]  Who is that speaking?

    Dreyfus : Don't you know? Can't you guess? I'll give you a clue. This is the man who hates you. This is the man who more than anything else in the world would like to see you dead and buried.

    Clouseau : Are you the head waiter that works at the little bistro on the Rue de Brossard?

    Dreyfus : No! This is Chief Inspector Dreyfus! Idiot!

  • [after an incident involving a blind beggar] 

    Dreyfus : The beggar was the lookout man for the gang.

    Clouseau : That is impossible.

    Dreyfus : Why?

    Clouseau : He was blind. How can a blind man be a lookout?

    Dreyfus : [Insinuating Clouseau]  How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!

    Clouseau : It's very simple, all he has to do is enlist...

    Dreyfus : Shut up!

  • [Clouseau is having the hotel bellboy spy on Lady Lytton] 

    Clouseau : How long have you been a bellboy?

    Bellboy : Oh, too long, Monsieur.

    Clouseau : Keep up the good work, and I shall see to it you become a bell *man*.

  • Col. Sharky : [after examining the scene of stolen Pink Panther, Clouseau notices the wire on the floor]  Very ingenious.

    Police Chief Lundallah : [annoyed]  He pulled himself across the floor.

    Clouseau : He did?

    Police Chief Lundallah : How else could he have avoided our radar field?

    Clouseau : Yes, how else. Hmm. Of course he would have needed a very slippery floor to do that.

    Police Chief Lundallah : Therefore, the wax.

    Clouseau : The wax? AGHH!

    [Clouseau steps on the wax and falls to the floor] 

    Col. Sharky : Are you alright, Inspector?

    Clouseau : [on his knees]  Of course I'm alright. I'm... examining the wax.

    [sniffs the wax on the floor] 

    Clouseau : Have you taken a sample of this wax?

    Police Chief Lundallah : Wax is wax!

    Clouseau : See, this is where you are wrong. Wax is NOT just wax. In this case it is a clue. Domestic wax, Belgian Wax, French Wax, English Wax...

    Col. Sharky : Ah, the Inspector is right. Have the wax tested immediately.

    Clouseau : [grabing the mechanical arm from the jewel stand]  It is my guess that you will find it is English wax.

    Police Chief Lundallah : Why?

    Clouseau : Because your thief is an Englishman.

    Col. Sharky : How do you know that?

    Clouseau : It is my business to know that. He is Sir Charles Phantom, the notorious Lytton.

    Police Chief Lundallah : The Phantom?

    Clouseau : Yes, one and the same.

    [the mechanical arm grabs Clouseaus's crotch] 

  • Clouseau : I see you are familiar with the falling-down-on-the-floor ploy.

  • [Cato has just attacked Clouseau, causing extensive damage to the restaurant he's eating in] 

    Clouseau : You fool! You raving Oriental idiot! There is a time and a place for everything, Cato! And this is it!

    [Clouseau goes to attack Cato, but misses and destroys the restaurant's kitchen] 

  • Dreyfus : [after Clouseau's fiasco with the bank robbers]  ... You are suspended for six months, without pay, effective immediately! Have you anything to say?

    Inspector Jacques Clouseau : ...Could you lend me fifty francs?

  • Blind beggar : How do you know so much about the city ordinances?

    Clouseau : What sort of stupid question is that? Are you blind?

    Blind beggar : Yes.

    Clouseau : Oh, I see. Yes, yes. Yes, of course.

  • [to a Taxi driver] 

    Clouseau : Follow that car!

    [driver gets out of the taxi and follows the car] 

  • [Chief Inspector Dreyfuss has gone berserk, shooting at Clouseau and Lytton] 

    Sir Charles Lytton : He's out of ammunition.

    Inspector Jacques Clouseau : He's out of his mind, that's what he's out of.

  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau : [in Dreyfus' office, after Clouseau's apartment has been bombed]  I tell you, infamous powers are at work! The instant you assign me to a case, the Underworld hears about it and I am set upon! It is amazing that I am still alive!

    Dreyfus : [forcing himself not to giggle]  "Amazing" is not the word.

    Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Do I detect something in your voice that says I am in disfavor with you?

    Dreyfus : YES! I wish you were DEAD!

    Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Well, of course, you are entitled to your opinion.

  • Clouseau : Good Sharky, Colonel God! We were just talking about you. Well, as you can see, I've got the whole case buttoned up. Everything is sewn up. This is Sir Charles Phantom, the famous Pink Litton.

  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau : [at Lytton Manor in Nice, while working undercover as a telephone repairman, Clouseau has already annihilated the Lyttons' doorbell!]  ... I am from the Nice Telephone Company; there is some trouble with your phone.

    Mac : ...I don't think there's any trouble with the telephones here.

    Inspector Jacques Clouseau : I know when there is a trouble, and when there is not a trouble, and you may rest assured that there is a trouble.

    Mac : Since when?

    Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Since it was reported.

    Mac : By whom? And what sort of trouble is it?

    Inspector Jacques Clouseau : If I knew that, I could simply call you up and tell you what the trouble with your telephone is!

    Claudine : Well... Whatever the trouble is, I hope you locate it.

    Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Madame, it is my business to locate trouble...

    [He misses the door to the study, crashing headlong into the wall; being Clouseau, he isn't even fazed] 

    Inspector Jacques Clouseau : ...Er, no trouble back there!

  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau : This is very strange. I do not ever recall receiving the fortune cookie in a Japanese Restaurant.

    Sgt. François Chevalier : What does yours say?

    Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Beware of Japanese Waitress bearing fortune cookies

  • Clouseau : Cato is in hospital. They nearly blew his little yellow skin off!

  • Clouseau : Does Lady Lytton have a swimming pewl?

    Nice Police Chief : A swimming pewl?

  • Clouseau : I did not know the bank was being robbed because I was engaged in my sworn duty as a police officer.

  • Clouseau : [Clouseau's pants have been torn off as he snoops in Lytton's study. The butler bangs on the door]  Do not come in! I am putting my tools away!

  • [to parrot] 

    Clouseau : Swine bird! That is my private mustache, you naughty bird. Swine!

  • [after inadvertently destroying much of the hotel he is in] 

    Clouseau : I must leave. Zis Hotel is deteriorating rapidly.

  • Clouseau : Waiter, another Kahlua and ginger ale, please.

  • Clouseau : And the same to you!

    [hangs up the phone] 

    Clouseau : Filthy swine. Cato, very strange. Chief Inspector Dreyfus calls me up, tells me to go and arrest Lady Litton immediately, without a charge. I call him back to speak with him, I find he's not in his office. Even stranger, I find he's gone away on vacation. Cato, things are very fishy in Denmark.

    Cato Fong : Switzerland.

    Clouseau : Yes, there too.

  • Clouseau : Well, Chief Inspector, until we meet again, and the case is solv-ved.

  • Clouseau : Yes, my little yellow friend, I knew the Chief would have to reconsider. He did not get where he is by ignoring a man's qualifications. He knows that I am unique, and therefore indispensable. We are much the same, the Chief and I. But of course, Cato, all great detectives have one thing in common. And you know what that is? Instinct. That rare ability to know immediately without having to stop and reason. And in my business, it can easily mean the difference between life and death.

  • Clouseau : Allow me to blot you.

    Dreyfus : Idiot!

    Clouseau : I will blot you. I had an aunt who suffered from high blood pressure. She was attended successfully by Dr. August Balls of Nice.

  • Clouseau : I get up at the crack of dawn always. Up the mountain, down the slopes, on the piste.

  • Clouseau : I do a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

    Claudine : A man of mystery.

    Clouseau : One might say that, yes. I would of course tell you more, but it would be safer for you if I did not.

  • Claudine : I'm Lady Litton.

    Clouseau : Yes, I know. I took the liberty of finding out. I hope you are not offended.

    Claudine : That depends on your intentions.

    Clouseau : Strictly honorable, I can assure you. A man sees a beautiful chick, and he can't help but be inquisitive, you know. Would you think it naughty of me if I offered to buy you a drink?

    Claudine : But you already have.

    Clouseau : I knew that. How about I buy myself one and we drink it together, huh?

  • Clouseau : [on the phone]  What is your code name?

    Dreyfus : Code name, huh? Code name? I don't have a code name. I never had a code name, lunatic!

    Clouseau : I understand that, sir, but only the *real* Inspector Dreyfus would know that he did not have a code name.

  • Clouseau : There is no need to leave - on my account.

    Claudine : There's need to leave on my account.

  • Clouseau : I see they've done an excellent job of restoration on your little yellow skin.

  • Clouseau : Lady Litton, I am for-ced to arrest you!

  • Clouseau : Supposing I told you that your fly was undone?

  • Claudine : You're all wet!

    Clouseau : There was a defect in my plumbing.

  • Clouseau : You probably guessed I've got a passion for the Oriental food, huh? Cato usually does some cooking for me, but recently he has taken to attacking me at every chance. It's very bad for the digestion.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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