The Clown Murders (1976) Poster

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5/10
The Clown Murders
Scarecrow-8826 July 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Businessman Philip(Lawrence Dane)is about to cash in on a lucrative deal that would bulldozer a farming community with apartments moving in on the land. His wife, Alison(Susan Keller, quite emotionally vacant which actually might work for her character who has married a man she doesn't love probably more out of hurt thanks to a past relationship to the main male character of the movie who went away, Charlie)actually owns the land and decided to "grant permission" for Philip to carry out such plans which will indeed bring a healthy profit. Charlie(Stephen Young)returns from Tahiti after a lengthly absence and still carries a torch for Alison who has since moved on, despite perhaps holding an inner fondness for him. Charlie finds Philip's smugness and flamboyant attitude rather annoying and hence concocts a kidnapping scheme which would stall the contract signing of the farming land. Along with other businessmen who loathe Philip despite having financial ties to him, Rosie(Gary Reineke)a very belligerent, impotent and confrontational alcoholic and Peter(John Bayless)a weakened, fractured man rife with self-loathing who has benefited by giving in to the demands of others(..in a sense selling his soul in order to maintain a wealthy lifestyle). Portly, gentle-hearted, virgin Ollie(John Candy), always seen eating something and consistently ridiculed by Rosie, who may possibly be homo-sexual, agrees to Charlie's plan of kidnapping Alison by ordering clown costumes for all the wealthy guests of a Halloween party. The kidnapping plan, which seems harmless enough, soon slowly unravels as Rosie grows more drunk and angry by the minute with Peter often fueling his antagonistic nature. Soon Alison's life may be in danger as Philip, knocked unconscious by Charlie who leaves a clown card by him as a practical joke, has the police on a man-hunt for the ones wearing costumes who kidnapped her..Rosie, who doesn't want to go to jail and is not thinking very clearly, begins tossing around the idea of killing Alison so no one will know who indeed did whisk her away into the night. Soon, fearing for her life hoping to trump his arrogance as a ladies man, Alison tests Rosie's temperament by making love to Ollie, whose virginity is a constant tool of slander for the nasty drunk. What this group doesn't realize is that someone is among them, wearing one of their clown masks and costumes, who threatens Charlie's life before striking at the others. The film focuses on how each character unfolds to the pressuring situations besetting them..a killer wanting them dead, a police out to find them, and their own frustrations and angst surfacing after being buried for so long.

Despite the title and a DVD cover(..a clown with a wicked grin) which makes this out to be a slasher flick, the film is really a character-driven melodrama. Only towards the final twenty minutes or so does any real threats toward human life by an unknown assailant occur. Endless bickering by the main characters as Philip awaits news of his wife's condition as a police detective questions him about various things such as his relationship with the missus, the ones who might wish to commit such an act, his business dealings, etc. I think if I had known what I was getting into I might not have been as disappointed, but I was expecting this film to gradually eliminate members of the group as the title seems to suggest. Instead, it's essentially these miserable folks constantly at each other's throats as Charlie and Alison attempt to discuss what happened to them in the past. That seems to fall to the wayside as Rosie's behavior causes friction amongst them, with the hidden killer only culminating the difficult situation further with his antics. The film looks like it was found in somebody's basement, really quite a 70's relic, and it's main musical arrangement is a creepy piano tune repeating throughout. The night scenes are actually eerily effective and the killer's chase and attack towards Charlie in the barn quite well executed..only adding to this is when the killer's identity is revealed at the end shedding light on the psyche of those poor hard-working folks whose lives are affected by those with wealth and power. Of course, the killer's identity could also reveal what Charlie's decision to leave and Alison's subsequent decision to sell the land does to those who suffer from such actions.

As a thriller, it doesn't actually succeed, but as a melodrama it's not so bad, I felt. Unfortunately, "The Clown Murders" is marketed as a thriller, when in fact such claims make this a character drama in sheep's clothing, a melodrama masqueraded as a potential slasher flick.
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3/10
Boring and Bad. Does Have John Candy Though.
ryan-1007514 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I had wanted to see this movie for quite some time. Just think the late-great John Candy in a horror movie. When I finally did see this movie, it was not worth the wait.

In this poorly filmed Canadian flick four friends (including a young John Candy) have come up with this brilliant idea that they will hide the wife (Susan Keller) of a businessman (Lawrence Dane) while they are attending a Halloween party and dressed as clowns.

Devoid of scares and never really seems to go the way it should have in order to create an acceptable film. Might be of interest to John Candy fans to see him in a very early role and one that is not a comic role. Mind you near the end and the killer is knocking victims off and he is crying in the barn I thought he was going to go into his Johnny LaRue character from SCTV. But, alas we are left with a boring horror movie.

On a final note: This was released in 1976, which were different times as we witness a couple of times chickens heads being cut off and then flying around. Do not think that would be filmed today.
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5/10
The rising of boredom.
HumanoidOfFlesh22 December 2010
A group of young professionals decides to play a practical joke on one of their ex-girlfriends who married a rich man who is about to close a major real estate deal.They will kidnap her and mess up the deal.But the joke becomes deadly serious when someone gets killed."The Clown Murders" is a boring thriller with John Candy and Lawrence Dane of "Rituals" fame.It's basically a hostage drama with 10 minutes of slasher in the finale.The killer wears clown costume and the scene in the barn is pretty eerie,but the action is slow and dull.If you liked "Straw Dogs" or "Death Weekend" you may give this one a look,but don't expect too much.5 clowns out of 10.
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2/10
Rotten Candy
Coventry15 July 2019
The only reason why this dud of a film hasn't disappeared into complete obscurity just yet is because it features an early role of John Candy; - the proudly Canadian actor/comedian who would become very popular throughout the 1980s and early 1990s, and die at the far too young age of 43. Fans of John Candy shouldn't bother to track down "The Clown Murders", though. In fact, nobody should bother to track it down, because it's one of the single most boring, uneventful and inept thrillers of the entire 70s decade. Four pathetic losers, including Candy, joke about kidnapping their attractive friend Alisson, simply because they can't accept that she's now married to a successful businessman and busy selling the farming estate where they all played whilst growing up. They execute their plan during a Halloween party, dressed as clowns, and lock her up in her own farm. The opening sequences and character introductions were already tedious, but the actual kidnapping and hostage situation are downright dreadful. Absolutely nothing happens, except for arguing between the four losers mutually and shots of John Candy shoving fast-food down his throat. The plot promised another mysterious clown killer coming after them, but he only pops up during the finale and doesn't do a lot of murdering, neither. One to avoid at all costs, that's the only sane and righteous recommendation I can make.
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1/10
Don't Waste Your Time
arfdawg-116 May 2014
John, svelte, John Candy in a horror film!

Very very cheaply made. Set in Canada. The movie was never released theatrically in the US (VHS then later DVD)

It's not a very good movie.

I have no idea why John Candy is in this. Very strange. But not in a good way.

The plot A group of young professionals decides to play a practical joke on one of their ex-girlfriends who married a rich man who is about to close a major real estate deal.

They plan to kidnap her and mess up the deal.

Unfortunately, the joke becomes deadly serious.
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1/10
Murders 1hr 36min Of Your Life
blurnieghey25 July 2021
While I could sit here all day and give one-star ratings and trash 90% of the movies people are making these days for their overall lameness and inability to entertain or tell a decent story, I have a relatively short list of movies that I would consider awful in the Ed Wood or Harold P. Warren sense of the word. The Clown Murders is one of them. As I write this, we have one guy defending this film, while the rest of the reviewers are less that kind and I suspect the only reason the overall rating of this film isn't lower than three stars is because of guys like that and the fact that most people have never seen it. What's wrong with it? Try just about everything except maybe the acting, but the script is so terrible and the story so disjointed and poorly paced that no amount of professionalism can save it.

The film has a John Candy sex scene. Let me repeat that: THE FILM HAS A JOHN CANDY SEX SCENE. If for some reason you think it might be entertaining to watch John Candy getting laid in a non-comedy situation, think again. You'll be scarred for life. The "plot" of this film is total nonsense, character development is minimal (not that it really matters) and, since all the characters are annoying, you're hoping that the killer will do his job and kill all these people off in proper serial killer fashion, but that doesn't happen either. The whole film is an unwatchable assault on your senses and if, for whatever reason, you still think you need to see it but can't find a copy, I would suggest turning on the TV, flicking the channels between three unrelated movies to where you can't make out the plots to any of them and shouting the names "Rosie!", "Ollie!", and "Alison!" over and over again at random intervals. You'll pretty much get the same effect. This movie is one of the biggest pieces of garbage I've ever seen and I can only recommend it to people who are into serious self-abuse or are looking to perform a lobotomy without chemicals or invasive surgery. If you enjoy John Candy's later works and are interested in seeing all his films for the sake of completion, you have been warned and I can assure you that this film will only leave you scratching your head, wondering what the hell you just watched. Avoid.
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5/10
A Feminist Slasher From Canada Featuring John Candy.
meddlecore2 November 2021
Canadian horror icon Stephen Young stars alongside John Candy, in this 70's slasher flick.

Where a group of friends plan to stop one of their more douchey brethren, from exploiting his wife, in order to cash in on a lucrative land deal.

Knowing that she owns the property, and must sign over the deed...they plan to dress up like clowns, and kidnap her, until the deadline passes at midnight, on Halloween.

However, none of them expected that what starts off as a joke will end up progressing to murder.

One mistake leads to another, they all start turning against each other.

Just as the cops are beginning to hone in on them.

Because on top of the scuffed kidnapping...a nefarious actor is hiding amongst them...trying to kill them off one-by-one...

While the woman they've kidnapped is doing whatever she can, in order to survive.

Things go from bad to worse as paranoia sets in amongst the group.

Will any of them make it out alive?

Or has this sick joke gone too far already?

Either way, it looks like they've stopped the land deal from going through...

It's certainly not your average slasher flick.

Because, while the motives of each character are pretty clear...the way the plot plays out is really quite bizarre, and slightly confusing.

Because even though the end game of each player is effectively the same...it becomes a kind of proxy war to control- even possess- the victim.

As they've all desired her, at one point, or another.

Luckily for her, she is clearly more grounded than any of them.

And, having realized this, she uses it to her advantage...to play them against one another.

So, while the men all end up bruised and broken...if not dead...she walks out of the whole ordeal generally unscathed...arguably, even stronger than she was before.

Thus, hidden beneath the layers of drama is a moral tale with an underlying feminist message.

A very interesting little flick, indeed.

5.5 out of 10.
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1/10
John Candy had to start somewhere
Coffee_in_the_Clink24 April 2020
Well, this is easily one of the worst films I've ever seen, if not a contender for the worst. The boredom is unimaginable; unlike any film I've ever endured, and I've seen some crap. There appeared to have been no script whatsoever, and I've never seen such a film purporting to be something that it is no where near. In this case, a slasher. A Halloween slasher, at that. There is a mere mention of the date - and the barely realised fact that the events are set in and around a Halloween party - but otherwise zero atmosphere or clue that this takes place on Halloween night. John Candy shoves some amount of food down his throat, which I found to be exploitative to the point that I felt uncomfortable for the man. It's like the director was making fun of him, because nearly every scene that he is in has him eating something and being ridiculed and abused by the other characters for it. Seriously, we get the point. It was pathetic. Essentially, that is "The Clown Murders" in a nutshell. John Candy eating and a gang of absolute toe-rags bickering at one another. After a tedious opening of a bunch of yobs playing polo we meet the completely forgettable and hateful cast of characters (clowns, indeed) who hatch a bizarre plan to abduct a female acquaintance of theirs, who, if I caught right, is now engaged to a rival business associate. It is either as a prank or to somehow hinder an impending business deal, I could hardly follow the rubbish. So, they dress up as clowns for a Halloween party and then abduct her. They are then surprised when the police get involved (imagine that?) and start to panic. There is then some random nonsense of a killer in a clown costume stalking them at the end, which I did not get to. Honestly, absolutely nothing happens in "The Clown Murders" and it is deplorable film-making with not one redeeming attribute or shred of talent.
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2/10
John Candy not at his finest
malton8 August 1999
This movie is really quite pathetic. It is a movie about a murderer. The plot is confusing and jumps around so much it is hard to follow. The only reason to actually watch this movie is because John Candy is in it. It is his first of only two dramatic roles that he ever did. There is an embarrassing scene where John's character has a nervous breakdown, and he is seen rolling in the mud in his underwear, blubbering like a baby. The movie aside, I thought John pulled that scene off quite well.

At any rate, if you are a real John Candy fan, then you have probably already seen this movie. If you are not a fan, don't waste your time.
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"It's A Donut, A Plain Donut!"...
azathothpwiggins26 August 2021
In THE CLOWN MURDERS, a prank goes wrong, resulting in madness and death.

While this may sound exciting, don't get your hopes up. This is an unexciting, non-entertaining, and fairly silly movie. Worst of all, it commits the unpardonable sin of being extremely boring. The viewer will wait, pray, beg for something, anything even remotely interesting to happen. All for naught.

It takes until the midway point of the movie for the maniac to -finally- put on the clown mask and get down to business. By the time anyone meets their maker, you'll be ready for death yourself!

Astonishingly, the final 10 minutes are pretty intense. If only the other 86 minutes had been this good it might have been endurable!

Co-stars John Candy as Otis. Beware the Otis "love scene"!...
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2/10
John Candy in a horror movie?
lee_eisenberg3 August 2005
A horror movie from Canada? What could they possibly fear up there? That hockey gets outlawed? That beer gets outlawed? Apparently, those Hosea's fear someone dressing up as a clown and going on a killing spree. And the movie about it, "The Clown Murders" is almost a zero. Only the presence of John Candy saves it, and that's only minimally. Just what is the guy who had his hand between two "pillows" in "Planes, Trains & Automobiles" doing in this kind of a movie? So, I wasted two bucks on this stinker. At least now I can tell people how bad it was. If you want a horror movie relating to clowns, then "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" and "It" are truly cinematic gems. And if you want a horror movie from Canada, then "The Brain" is pretty cool. But quite literally, the only excuse for blowing your money on "The Clown Murders" would be to see John Candy in an early role.
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10/10
completely under-rated
alias-grace14 May 2006
Warning: Spoilers
i want to write this because it seems only people with a.d.h.d seem to be watching it and commenting on it here. not to mention one guy who seems to think horror movies couldn't be made in Canada (hmm...ever hear of black Christmas?). anyway, i blame these misplaced comments on the completely misleading video cover. if you think this is a brain-less slasher, do not watch it! it's not.

there's a depth and scale to the story and acting that is not completely obvious to anyone expecting a simple slasher. there are underlying themes in this movie that have more in common with a Shakespearean tragedy than a slumber party massacre. sure it's slow - but this movie wasn't made for the a.d.h.d generation. it's a slow-burn sort of movie. the characters are developed with nuisance, past tensions and feuds erupt, secret lusts slowly bubble to the top. and on top of that! - creepy clowns throughout! does the story make complete sense? no. (and perhaps, i just ended up with a shoddy incomplete copy. after all, there hasn't been an official DVD release of this feature - a shame, considering it's one of john candy's first dramatic roles.) but the few times when i did think, "wtf", it still didn't leave me feeling the film was any less entertaining.

it has a nightmarish, surreal quality. it is a tragedy that asks a little more from its audience. it is completely under-rated and well worth watching for anyone with an open mind, respect for character development, and a little patience.
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6/10
John Candy as You've Never Seen Him Before
abbazabakyleman-988344 November 2019
Another early film role for a then-unknown John Candy in this psychological drama/horror film about a kidnapping prank gone horribly wrong. If you're expecting Candy to be funny, look elsewhere. His character is a pathetic wuss who is caught in the middle of the situation, but his acting is pretty good in a non-comedic role. The film itself is decent, but goes in several directions, throughout.
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1/10
A Boring Mess
Britney-Keira3 September 2021
Well that was a boring mess of a movie - a big steaming pile of crap - the only thing worth watching was the John Candy eating scenes - and there were several of those.

What a waste of 96 minutes.
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I had this movie on VHS...
kita1177 August 2003
and the tape broke. Believe me I was very glad that it did. This movie is very boring and stupid. I do not plan to get this movie ever again even to rent it. Take my advice and be smart not to have anything to do with this movie.
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3/10
The Clown Murders
HorrorFan19843 March 2022
A revenge plot which was supposed to be a prank turns deadly in 'The Clown Murders', a film that saw the debut of legendary John Candy.

A group of young professionals decide to play a practical joke on one of their ex-grilfriends named Alison who ended up marrying a rich man instead of him (Alex). The professionals learn that the rich guy is a about to close a major real estate deal. In order to mess up the deal, they come up with a plan to kidnap Alison. As the kidnapping prank turns unexpectedly violent, the men are forced to deal with the fallout of their actions ... and forced to deal with someone in a clown costume stalking them.

'The Clown Murders' is a very silly film with very little direction. It doesn't make a lot of sense as to why three of the four men would want to kidnap Alison, and the movie never does it's job to explain why either. The dialogue is also very simple and generic, with tons of fat jokes being slung the way of John Candy's character for example. The only parts of the movie that were enjoyable were about 5-10 minutes when they first kidnapped Alison and the mysterious clown showed up. It looked like the movie was heading somewhere, and then bam - nothing. The ending made very little sense on top of all that as well.

I would skip this one despite the cool VHS cover art and intriguing movie title. Those are the only redeeming things about the film.

3/10.
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Not only is this film boring, but it is also quite stupid. But, yet, still good.
Jack the Ripper188817 May 2002
John Candy does not do an extremely good job here. This film is one that was made to be forgotten. It is dull and slow. It takes about a half hour to finally get into the main theme of the film and it is still very slow until the final half hour. That is mainly when the horror elements and murders begin to take place. The only reason to see this film is because it stars John Candy. He does an okay job of acting, I guess, but the story itself does little to hold your interest. It bores you and indulges you with a hard to follow story of characters that all seem to turn on each other for no apparent reason in the end. Now, this film is really, really slow and could put the world's biggest insomniac to sleep. But, the final parts of the movie are worth waiting for. See this film if you are a John Candy fan. THE CLOWN MURDERS: 3/5.
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